Personal Service Announcement ( Becca talks about BohoPoetGirl)

It has come to my attention that a lot of people just don't get it, this blogging thing. Or the writing thing - which is odd because I doubt you all thought Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner was an autobiography, and yet, here I am, finding my back against the wall yet again with claims I'm embarrassing myself. This is not myself. This is a tiny piece of my personality, exaggerated into a fictional character. Reference my blogroll to sex and the beach if you want to make an attempt to understand what I am talking about. Is Maria De Los Angeles Manola Blahblahblahnick? Hell no! Is she a damn good writer who makes me laugh? Hell yes! Does she agree with plenty of what Manola says, sure! But it doesn't make it HER. I'm trying to find the humor in what I see around me. This blogging thing is my living breathing portfolio. If I wrote about things how they actually happened, you would understand that you'd much rather read about BohoPoetGirl. And I'd much rather write about her. What is fact and what is fiction? Exactly the point. I'll never tell. So if you can't take the heat, get the hell out of Blue Moon Over Miami! Now you've been warned. If anyone brings this up EVER again, I will simply reference you again to this blog post. Perhaps copy it into an email. Esta Todo.

And with that, I wish you all a good evening. I might attend Maria streaming live tomorrow night from her new blog, which she did not bring Manola too btw.


You didn't actually think I drained my pool with a saucepot, or at all, did you??


PS

BohoPoetGirl was just nominated for a content award in the humor category for being a "Hilarious blogger" and "Fab Writer." To those of you that get it, know you are who I am writing for, and why I will never stop writing.
Ok.

Weird Song Wednesday from the vault in my mind

I performed this song in the days when Britney and I looked more alike ( I was blonde, she wasn't fat) on a video that belongs to people I am no longer friends with.. who enjoy showing it to whoever they feel like.... How do I know this? I have been recognized more than once by random, random people in CT as that girl... You know, the one who dressed up in full Britney style get up - knee high boots, a corset, and a really short black skirt,(and yes, underwear) dramatically pulled a tapestry across a curtain rod and jumped down from a lofted bed to sing a song she wrote to the tune of Lucky about all the whorebags at UConn.... At least I used to think they were.... Compared to the men and women of Miami, they were frigid prudes.... End of disclaimer...


"Easy" to the tune of Lucky by Britney Spears

Early morning
she wakes up
with a kick, kick, kick out the door....
Last night's make-up.... wine stained smile
it's not to hard to be a whore ( baby)

Isn't she slutty, this typical girl???

And they say, she's so easy, she's a bike,
and they ride, ride, ride her through the nite
thinking, why the fuck does, this happen to me?
I don't want any... STDs

Lost in Alumni, just 18
and she feels like she's gonna throw up
and his hair is thinning but she keeps on sinning
So tell me, where did she wake up?

Isn't she loose as the Holland tunnel
and they say, she's so easy, the town bike
and they ride, ride, ride her through the nite
thinking, it is hurting, every time I pee
Oh crap I have an STD

Test results: and the winner is, Chlamydia!
I'm Joe Husky standing behind her at the school pharmacy
waiting to spread word of her affliction...

Oh my god, stock up on condoms!

Isn't she slutty, this cow-town bred girl?
She is so easy, and maybe she's Bi
If there's nothing, missing in her life
why does she fuck everyone in sight?

And they say, she's so easy, she's a bike
and they ride, ride ride her through the night
Thinking, I hope no one knows I had an STD
I still haven't finished the b-ball team.....

All By Myself, Part Two

Which brings us to Jesse. Jesse was the first guy I could ever talk to about poetry. He was an incredibly gifted poet, and while I would spout my dreams of being the next Maya Angelou, he wanted nothing more than to teach the literature he loved so much. I learned so much from him, but as the school year came to a close, we had the whole, where is this whole thing going anyway? talk and that was that with that. I moved home for the summer and few weeks found my friend Tim and I drunk and on xanax and in my bed. That lasted ten months, despite the fact he went to college in Baltimore, and despite the fact that because he was friends with Greg, he was constantly paranoid I would cheat on him. Ironically enough, I never did.

I dumped Tim in the spring and became so out of control it soon became imperative I get a boyfriend. This was the time period where I lost track of my "Number" and I still to this day am not quite sure what it is. Soon I found one, two actually; Cocaine and Colin. This lasted until one very nasty spring weekend senior year. The assholes at the college newspaper still have it in their online archives, and if you know my maiden name, I'm sure you've already read it.


I managed to get rid of Colin. But not my other lover. At this point it makes sense to mention that once when I was in Baltimore visiting Tim, a psychic on the street grabbed my hand and said, "This guy is not your soulmate, you will meet your soulmate in two years. This would be the March after I graduated college. I was still not quite done with my other lover and my life was pretty much unmanageable....The few months before I met Richy I wandered around like that duck in the childrens book... 'Are you my soulmate?"

Then I met Richy. He rescued me from everything....but I never really learned my lesson.

Which brings us to the now. The now that is too painful, too fresh, and too risky to discuss on the innnernets....

I end this post the way I began it. Alone, full of fear and anxiety. But as it was written in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior "We are here and it is now. Beyond that, all human knowledge is moonshine."


Shine on my darling readers. Thanks for being here, reinforcing the fact that my writing is the one thing no one can ever take away from me, and that no Lexus, Louis Bag, or $600 dinner could ever take the place of.

Still, Blue Moon Over My Mothers House just doesn't have the same ring to it.

The Episode Before The Season Finale

If this blog was a television show, it would be one that didn't find itself until season two.

Above is a picture from my bachelorette party I found on Anna's computer while gearing up for my sister's fiesta tomorrow. I'm in the middle.

I plan on taking a month hiatus to gear up for "Blue Moon Over Miami: Season Two".
I am new to blogging and as my Anna so gently pointed out, sometimes my blog is like talking to me on the phone rather than reading my more creative and interesting stuff. I am taking this break until the day before the Grey's Anatomy season premiere, which would be September 24. I will be blogging during this time, but into word. The stream of consciousness "I played with the dogs, got annoyed with something, and went to the grocery store" blogging is not what I set out to accomplish when I began this thing. I will be reading blogs and blogs about blogging and blogs about the things I blog as much as possible.


I do plan on one more post before I break. I want to think about it and make it good though, as any season finale should be. And to be a taste of what's to come.

If anyone needs to talk to me during my hiatus, you can always send an email to bohopoetgirl@gmail.com

Style of The Day

I gave Nico a haircut tonight with my J.A. Henckels kitchen shears. If you ask me, my work was Shear Genius. Will post pics tomorrow as I feel lazy (read: buzzed) on this Thursday evening with a long night of fun (read: pina colada making and My fav night of TV ever reruns while R sleeps on couch with hot pack on his hip.) Nico looks smaller now but cuter than ever. He is sleeping from all the excitement. He was getting super scruffy and now I will have to scrounge tomorrow to see if I have any good documentation so like, 3 people can read this. I digress, it's not the time to beat up on the self, especially not after achieving Shear Genius results on my first tiny dog and kitchen shears haircut. Only in this case, I would consider the cut a success just b/c no one got cut. Okay, I think it's time for a self -inflicted blogging restriction. As in, "friends don't let friends blog buzzed."
Goodnight Blogosphere...Goodnight Web...Goodnight Twitter...Goodnight Head...

Have a happy hot and humid Miami evening all!

Oh Fuhcackduh!

I just heard that Jen Lancaster was at BlogHer08! How could I have missed a chance to rub elbows with one of my fav authors and inspirations? I digress, clearly it was just not in the cards yet. BlogHer09' girls... I'm on it!

Break An Unwritten Rule Tuesday

Two weeks ago I created a format for my blog... Different posts for different days of the week, all depending on my desire, motivation, and ability to actually do all of the things required to post said posts....
I think last weeks lack of blogs was a rebellion against the overachieving of my new format. I mean, I have never been an overachiever. Why start now??
As fun as acting like a complete ass at the gym was, today I didn't have that kind of energy, and decided to abandon my Hunter S. Thompson style of journalism for a road much more traveled; the fly on the wall.
I did break a small rule however, one that went largely unnoticed which was seriously fine with me. I was too busy noticing ( and being annoyed) by others' flagrant unwritten rule breaking.

Unwritten Rule #2

Thou Shalt Not Wear a Shirt that says "Everyone Loves A Jewish Girl" to a gym in Miami Gardens.


The first unwritten rule breaker that caught my eye was the gentleman hanging out in front of the thigh machines that force users to open and close their thighs very widely, leaving their most precious areas wide open... Now, everyone thinks naughty things regarding these machines, at least, I assume they do, but to actually say something? How gauche! I didn't hear what he said exactly, but after watching him practically do a Riverdance with laughter and his friends laugh as well, while the girls on the machines exclaimed such scholarly phrases as; "Oh No You Di-nnnt."


Wow. Remind me not to go on that machine while that guy is here! Then I noticed a lady who kept pushing her gum in a vertical bar out of her mouth while she ran on the treadmill... It was like a South Beach Hooker; as gross as it was, I simply could not look away or hide my disgust. I hate gum. Like truly hate, the smell of it makes me nauseaus and I don't understand the need to be constantly showing to other people something that is made to be chewed inside your mouth. This lady had a particularily rabbit like face as well, and if I could wrench my gaze away as fast as I let it drift over there, then in the blur she totally looked like Bugs Bunny. These two were seriously cramping my workout; here it was barely 10 minutes into my cardio workout and I was seriously contemplating getting off and heading straight for the steam room. I had to concentrate on my book, the cheesy but heartwarming You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, which thankfully got me through the next 15 minutes before I finally headed off to the steamroom after a couple of sets of crunches.


In the steamroom I encountered another rule breaker; a girl listening to blaring hip hop out of her ipod, louder than I thought an ipod could ever go, enough to literally vibrate the cedar benches of the tiny room.... Here I was, trying so hard to relax and detox my body and all I could hear was bass and a lot of loud, harsh sounding words...Not exactly relaxing and detoxifying sounds... That was my exit.

Lesson Learned

Breaking unwritten rules is fun if you're the one breaking them... For everyone else, you're just another annoying South Floridian

Thank You South Florida Daily Blog!!!

YAY! I am the new blog alert at the South Florida Daily Blog! And I am on their blogroll! I (again) feel, a la Izzie from Grey's Anatomy, like a proud Mama...

And Rick from SFDB wrote a nice little write up about me, I must add...Read about it here, at my new favorite blog, the South Florida Daily Blog

Blogger Do At Tobacco Rd

Hey People!
Sunday Morning ditty A La Seinfeld, enjoy;

*Clears throat*
*sings*

Believe it or not, last night I wasn't at home! While R laid out fast asleep... I must have been out, or I'd have been on the phone... Where could I have been? Believe it or not, I wasn't home....


At a Blogger party, do you talk about what you Blog about or Blog about what you talk about??

Last night was the blogger party at Tobacco Rd, which is Miami's Oldest Bar. I planned on getting there almost two hours late after I sat on my bum on Lincoln Rd for over an hour w. aiting for them all to show up for brunch..And I was still there before more than half the crowd!, including Balou, Fanless, Ipanemic, Consumable Joy, and others had even showed up.

Multi -Colored Moon Over Miami

When I did get there, Tere from a Mom, a blog, and the life in between, and Chris from Man or Maniac were there with my girl Miami Rhapsody.. Blue Moon drinking commenced immediately! I have been waiting to get some good pics to post with this little ditty here, but all the ones any of them got were blurry... except my buddy ipanemic got this fabulous picture of my very own blue moon over miami before my drunk on blue moon ass fell off the rickity plastic chair i was sitting on.

Then Gus and Michelle from MiamiBeach411.com showed up and the party really began. I introduced them all to blue moon, and even Michelle, who is not a beer drinker liked it. I felt like a proud Mama! There was lots and lots of photo taking, which bloggers tend to do, but since we were having such a time, most people's came out blurry. I love hanging out with my Miami bloggers. Excuse the cliche, but there is absolutely never a dull moment. The two biggest only in Miami moments of the night happened at nealry the same time and in almost the same place, and yet one of them no one knew about until after.

The Scuffle AKA Only in Miami

Firstly my buddy A* and one of the wait staff got into what I will politely call a scuffle. I have to thank A for standing up for us, as the wait staff were trying to take our food away before we were done and seemed quite peeved that this rowdy group of bloggers who were only drinking beer and not doing shots. Or maybe we were just too old for them, since we can all legally drink.. I thought about getting involved, I wanted to say something, but tk god Ipanemic helped me fight the urge. Alex took care of it for us anyway. I mean, there are only so many times a waiter can try to take your food or drink while you are in the midst of eating or drinking it without some sort of conflict ensuing... This happened Miami Bloggers, MiamiBeach411.com, Tobacco Road while I was sitting at this booth, who knows, possibly at the same time since I don't remember Balou taking it. She went to take a pic of Scott and ended up getting this couple in the background. Look how the guys hand is on a steadily southward migration!
* names have been changed to protect the innocent since I just learned about Google Alerts

Waiting for Godot

Okay, what I was really waiting for was to sober up to drive home, but catchy subhead, eh? This weekend should be another fun talk about blog about blog about talk about weekend since Yvette/Miami Rhapsody is having a birthday party at her house! Which leads me to my cheesy closing joke I thought of yesterday driving


Q: What's the most important thing on the invitation to any Blogger Do if you want a good turnout?

A: Free Wi -Fi!

Happy When it Rains

Ahh Hurricane season. It's the closest thing we get to Winter, at least in terms of excuses not to leave the house, getting out of work, and just being lazy in general. After this blog happy week I actually have a bruise the size of my elbow worked into my inner right thigh from sitting cross legged on the couch, with the laptop on the ottoman ( AKA Sneaky's apartment) blogging. Oh I think I feel a list coming on... After the quote of the day of course. I have an AMAZING one today, the ending of Jack Kerouac's on the road... Possibly one of the best paragraphs ever written in America...

Today's Burning Question

This morning found Sneaky and me burning with the eternal question; continue to watch the Today Show/ browse blogs in the living room ( AKA home of the big TV)or go back to bed? Then I had the most amazing flash of inspiration. You really can have it all! Currently Sneaks and I are in bed, with the TV on, writing blogs ( plans to resume browsing asap), drinking coffee.

This is the way to spend a morning! Here are the views from the bed:







Not so bad, eh?


This is Today on Becca's Blog. Lol.



Where Have All the Comments Gone?

I'd like to think this has more with me changing my blog address than failing to provide anything of value to those in the blogosphere, but who knows. Bluemoon81.blogspot.com now features futons. How odd. Seriously thinking about deleting myspace, but then I would miss drinking red wine and laughing with Dina over what people from WHS are doing now ( besides living at home).

In the spirit of high school memories flooding my brain, here's a math problem for you.

Considering that I met my husband after college and have been with him longer than I was in high school, and spent the normal amount of time at both places, how pathetic are the people in the WHS class of 99' and older for still living at home?

Answers? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?