Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Break An Unwritten Rule Tuesday

Two weeks ago I created a format for my blog... Different posts for different days of the week, all depending on my desire, motivation, and ability to actually do all of the things required to post said posts....
I think last weeks lack of blogs was a rebellion against the overachieving of my new format. I mean, I have never been an overachiever. Why start now??
As fun as acting like a complete ass at the gym was, today I didn't have that kind of energy, and decided to abandon my Hunter S. Thompson style of journalism for a road much more traveled; the fly on the wall.
I did break a small rule however, one that went largely unnoticed which was seriously fine with me. I was too busy noticing ( and being annoyed) by others' flagrant unwritten rule breaking.

Unwritten Rule #2

Thou Shalt Not Wear a Shirt that says "Everyone Loves A Jewish Girl" to a gym in Miami Gardens.

The first unwritten rule breaker that caught my eye was the gentleman hanging out in front of the thigh machines that force users to open and close their thighs very widely, leaving their most precious areas wide open... Now, everyone thinks naughty things regarding these machines, at least, I assume they do, but to actually say something? How gauche! I didn't hear what he said exactly, but after watching him practically do a Riverdance with laughter and his friends laugh as well, while the girls on the machines exclaimed such scholarly phrases as; "Oh No You Di-nnnt."

Wow. Remind me not to go on that machine while that guy is here! Then I noticed a lady who kept pushing her gum in a vertical bar out of her mouth while she ran on the treadmill... It was like a South Beach Hooker; as gross as it was, I simply could not look away or hide my disgust. I hate gum. Like truly hate, the smell of it makes me nauseaus and I don't understand the need to be constantly showing to other people something that is made to be chewed inside your mouth. This lady had a particularily rabbit like face as well, and if I could wrench my gaze away as fast as I let it drift over there, then in the blur she totally looked like Bugs Bunny. These two were seriously cramping my workout; here it was barely 10 minutes into my cardio workout and I was seriously contemplating getting off and heading straight for the steam room. I had to concentrate on my book, the cheesy but heartwarming You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, which thankfully got me through the next 15 minutes before I finally headed off to the steamroom after a couple of sets of crunches.

In the steamroom I encountered another rule breaker; a girl listening to blaring hip hop out of her ipod, louder than I thought an ipod could ever go, enough to literally vibrate the cedar benches of the tiny room.... Here I was, trying so hard to relax and detox my body and all I could hear was bass and a lot of loud, harsh sounding words...Not exactly relaxing and detoxifying sounds... That was my exit.

Lesson Learned

Breaking unwritten rules is fun if you're the one breaking them... For everyone else, you're just another annoying South Floridian