Friday, June 20, 2008

Bar Food Friday ( and a bit of a babble)

Forget the beach - the real estates are in South Coral Gables

Today I had my volunteer interview at Fairchild Tropical Botanical Gardens. My Indigo Chica Manola from my favorite pee my pants blog, sex and the beach.
inspired me to start giving back to a world that's been extraordinarily good to me, despite my constant faux pas and outright social blunders....
Before my interview ( that Old Cutler Rd detours and a general fucktardiness regarding directions made me 35 minutes late to) I was offered only a 2 day stint at the July Mango Festival and training in the fall for their Art exhibition during high season, which doesn't start until December.

And skip or bear with this digression/ Detour

... I will be working in the Conservation Nursery for the summer, then move on to the Challenge office in the end of August...I will also be judging and helping coordinate the challenge... The challenge is it's own post, so those with ??? pls be patient or visit Fairchild Tropical Botanical Garden's Website
Because I'm about to lose my own attention writing and can only assume it's worse for my readers..

I'm impressed you lasted through my major tangent of a detour. I know how much being detoured sucked today and yet here I am, detouring my readers from the promised blog... The 1st ever bar food friday....

But I have had such a stellar week - getting noticed by South Florida Daily Blog, making like minded smart funny artistic friends I had no idea I would ever meet outside of the fabled education snobbery of New England, getting a quarter of my site hits over three months in the last 5 days.... So I'm pushing my boundaries like a child.... and praying my loyal readers will indulge me and give me a lollipop.

Friday Night's Bar Food

I almost blew barfood friday b/c the moment I got to Fox's, ( Miami's 2nd oldest bar) to meet Manola, I ordered French Onion Soup ( about which I have this OCD need to always declare it's not as good as my own as I hungrily devour every drop) and was two thirds of the way in before I realized Bar Food Friday calls for a pic of the food before I rip into it like a hungry cheetah...
What I would soon learn is that with Manola, I was in the kind of company that can make hours fly by in the taking of a breath or a long sip of Pinot... And happy hour was upon us as soon as you could say Blue Moon over Sex on the Beach.

Along with two for one everything the special happy hour bar food of the day at Fox's was "Mini Castle Burgers" ( that thankfully, aren't microwaved mass market white castle burgers from Publix)
Above is a pic of these little burgers, music to my mouth and horror flick to my size 26 True Religions....

They were quite possibly the best mini burgers or "sliders" ( which always makes me think of a vodka shot with an oyster and hot sauce in it) I've ever had.... Fox's is definitely doing a major disservice to themselves to even refer to anything remotely resembling the words 'white' or 'castle'. It was served as one pull apart chunk in four sections; pickles, tasty perfectly seasoned burger patties and melted american cheese on each. Ketchup, mustard, and mayo was on the side... For four glasses of pinot, 3 chardonnays, french onion soup, and the burgers, our bill only came to 43$ w/ tax and there may even be another round involved I am blocking out...

The food was great, the bar was vampire dark ( which I love when drinking on a Friday afternoon at 4) and the bartender and regulars friendly as you might expect in Georgia, but certainly not Miami... After I devoured said burgers ( Manola was the picture of self control and only had one bite of one) the sky stopped having it's water break on Miami's head and we headed out to our original plan, Matheson Hammock state park.. At which there was no hammocks, and the conversation too priceless to share with the blogosphere....

Verdict: Fox's Happy Hour, mucho drinks, plenty of food, nice dark comfy cozy atmosphere, and patrons = 43$ before tip

Conversation with Manola = priceless

Even though M is way too cool for cheesy credit card commercial parodies, I hope she will let this one slide... if she's not too busy finding hurricane season BF.... My vote is for Jensen Ackles from Supernatural....

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Quote of The Day ( Thank You Carlos Miller!!)

I am going to sing for you, a little off key perhaps, but I will sing.
-Henry Miller

Thank you Carlos Miller

Not only for this quote, but for standing up for artists everywhere. who create their art in every medium.. What an ugly place America would become if not for people like you to stand up for our right to create and record and observe and discuss the world around us.. I'm going to get my husband to airbrush a Team Carlos Miller Shirt, which I plan on wearing out this weekend. Shit... It's been a while since something happened so close to home that moved me like this... I'm ready to protest, picket, sign petitions, whatever it takes....

Cause Nobody puts Carlos Miller in the corner!!!!

Oye Mi Poema Thursday

Next weds a group of local blogger chicas and I are hitting up Ingrid B's Bohemia Room spoken word event; Cunnilinguistics, A night of erotic poetry... Only problem is, the only finished poem I have that's slightly erotic that I haven't destroyed or lost I read last time I was there. I'm going to have to actually write a new poem. It's been almost a year I think... But going through my old stuff on my dino desktop I found this poem, which I wrote in Miami, a little over a year ago... And decided to share. I was inspired my Billy Collin's poem of the same name. He is such a great poet... I wonder if I can get some erotic poetry inspiration there? No, best keep it safe and look through my Adrienne Rich ;)

The Best Cigarette
by B.L.

There are many that I miss

Having flicked my last one over a balcony

One dark night, a firefly disappearing in the trees.

The obvious ones, of course;

After an evening joint, the double indulgence

As one fades to ash, two light up

And lean back, the end of a long


At the end of a greasy breakfast

The day waiting to begin

Blue-grey haze curling and dancing from the ashtray;

Or in a hot tub, resting an elbow on the edge

Holding the damp filter until it burns out.

It’s a strange dichotomy, these moments

of flame and relief.

The most pure memories are mornings

When the next line keeps appearing

Through the tangle onto my computer screen,

The endless Miami sun.

Newly downloaded music in the background

With it’s own beautiful surprises and familiarities.

I would grab for the pack without looking

Away, lighting up as I read my own

Words as if they were a letter

To myself, written

Long ago..

And it would be the exhale of breath

Left hand raised to hold it

As I lean back in the chair and

Smile at my own truth.

Then I would be my own sunshine

All bright energy as I returned to work

My thoughts like beams of light

Little rays whispering,

The catalyst of soul growth

All the poems that brought me

Here, came from somewhere


That was the best cigarette.

Smiling at the monitor.

Every ounce of light within

Shining on these words.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Thank You South Florida Daily Blog!!!

YAY! I am the new blog alert at the South Florida Daily Blog! And I am on their blogroll! I (again) feel, a la Izzie from Grey's Anatomy, like a proud Mama...

And Rick from SFDB wrote a nice little write up about me, I must add...Read about it here, at my new favorite blog, the South Florida Daily Blog

Quotes of The Day

There are no random realtors, only friends you haven't met yet


It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

Although the poet in me really appreciates the alliterative value of 'random realtor' and how it just rolls off the tongue


So You Wanna Move to Miami?

What we should really do is cast a reality show from all the various people ( very nice, interesting, funny, smart people that I am not trying to offend with this post, only to have a laugh on Miami since it’s rainy and I’m bored) that come to thinking about moving to Miami…

We could call it “So You Wanna Move To Miami” and all the contributing writers ( as in article writers) on the site would be the judges… We could have guest judges like JLo, Matt Damon and Gloria Estefan....Challenges would include driving through Lemon City at night with the window rolled down without peeing in your pants, selling flowers on the side of the road in Little Havana without the ability to speak a word of Spanish, and getting a group of rowdy white hat 21 year old boys into Suite on a Saturday night without buying a bottle.....and then the men will be subjected to a series of extra tests, such as having to pick out the one genuine girl who likes them in a sea of hot, foreign, greencard hungry women, and real or not? where contestants have to decide if boobs are real just by looking at them Oh and finally… Is she a stripper, a porn star, or just a hot chick?… For the women, there will be Which of these guys actually doesn’t have a wife, and Does He Own the Lamborghini or is it a rental, and finally, pick the one guy who doesn’t cheat, isn’t gay and isn’t a drug dealer/addict in a sea of hot shirtless men....

Although there will be many prizes along the way, such as a permanent table at Suite furnished by the makers of Trojan products, and Grey Goose...To help the winner kick-start their Miami career, the grand prize will be 2 years paid rent in a penthouse in the ICON, a 3 year lease of a turbo porsche ( duh, tiptronic) A couple hundred thousand, since 1 just ain’t gonna do it, the phone numbers of a plastic surgeon who won’t make you look like Tara whatsherface, a drug dealer who delivers, and a realtor who won’t screw you, all of the Spanish series of Rosetta Stone Learning Tools, a whole new wardrobe from Intermix....

Now what channel should this be on? Well Hello I’d think this is obvious....


Way more entertaining than Living Lohan, I say!

Break an Unwritten Rule Day

This blog is beginning to take shape, something which (again) makes me feel like a proud mama. I already have declared Monday, "Concoction Monday" and now I dub Tuesday "Break an Unwritten Rule Tuesday" although the blog is coming to you on a Wednesday morning, I am planning on having it up on time next week, so that I can make Wednesday Weird Song Wednesday, and post one of the many silly songs I have written to other songs.

Back on the Elliptical Again

Yesterday, when gearing up to go to the gym in Miami Gardens for the first time, being that I was going to the LA Fitness in Hollywood when I worked at the Powerboat Club and have not been to any gym since I quit that awful silicone enhanced place in Mid February, I was a little nervous.

And what better way to deal with being nervous than make a complete and total ASS out of myself. So I decided to break an unwritten rule, flagrantly and unabashedly.

Unwritten Rule #1

Thou Shalt Not Act as if You are in an IPod Commercial on a Machine at the Gym!

They playlist needed to be just right to keep me going without blushing or laughing too much... So I started with The Donna's Version of Billy Idol's "Dancing With Myself". It was a perfect start. I started shaking my ass and moving my arms as I pumped the machine, something that was a little tricky, but still easier than dancing after one too many Blue Moon's.... At first it seemed no one was noticing, so I started to really get into it.... Then a young girl looked at me like I was crazy. Very encouraging. I started to do more arm movements and move my hips and legs more vigorously to the music....Lots of shoulder beat keeping was going down...

Dancing With Myself

I started to feel really good, free, reminding me of that episode of Friends where Phoebe is running like a freak in the park and tries to convince Monica to do it with her because "it's so liberating". Yes my friends, it is... The playlist is ESSENTIAL, because it gives you ideas for more idiotic moves than less appropriate music would inspire. Next up, "Do You Love Me" from Dirty Dancing....

Do You Love Me? I Can Really Move.... Do You Love Me? I'm in the Groove... Now That I Can Dance...Watch Me Now!

I can mash potato ( and freak out the guy cleaning the machine)
I can do the twist ( and almost hit the girl on my right and almost fall off...)
Now tell me baby, do you like it like this? ( the guy over there sure does...)

This song really captured the crowd... Some were giving me that unwritten rule breaking look I was doing this for, you know the one where people think they can stop your inappropriate behavior with a withering glance.... I know because I've been one of them!

Don't Cha Wish You Had the Chutzpah to Dance on your Machine??? And, Please don't stop the Dancing....

Back to 2 hip hop tracks, which in Miami Gardens, drew me a lot of mixed reviews... The looks were split between "White girl thinks she can shake her ass, at the gym, of all places.." to "Yo,Look at that white girl shaking it! Are those real?" Umm, Hello People! Implants were inspired by women who, like myself actually *gasp* had nice racks of the all natural persuasion..... All the while, the time and the miles and the calories were flying by.... And I was feeling good... Really freaking good.....

BohoPoetGirls Just Want to Have Fun....

This was all leading up to the big climax in act 3... I had already proven to myself that while some of the looks made me uncomfortable, I was having way too much fun not to keep pushing this social experiment to the next level. A bit of backstory is relevant here. I went to Camp Mataponi in Maine every summer growing up. Those girls were my closest friends in the universe. It's where I got my love of 80's pop. But I digress. Two of my cheerleading best friends and I wrote an entire act-it-out dance skit to this song.. And I decided to act it that dance, as much as memory, the elliptical and it's constant threats to throw my bouncing self off, and my sensibilities ( Seriously, I'm not Britney - I do have some shame)

This needs to go with the lyrics to make sense

I come home in the morning light my mother says when ( shoulder shrugging with elbows bent and hands raising in air to beat) you gonna live your life right....Oh mommy dear (wagging finger) we're not the fortunate ones.... Oh girls just want to have fun....

The phone rings, in the middle of the night, (bend knees and hold hand/phone to ear, while bouncing from right to left....) My father says what you gonna do with your life.. Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one ( shake hips and hold out one finger with other hand on hips and cocked head)

But girls they want to have fun ( during the chorus we actully do si do'd, which I couldn't accomplish on the elliptical without breaking my neck)
chorus here a little head shaking lip syncing and side to side movement worked here

Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide ( hug self and bend knees, lean forward and down, hide, in short) her away from the rest of the world

I want to be the one to walk in the sun ( stand up straight, bounce and put elbows out, hands flat under chin with the fingertips overlapping.......)


This was it, I had reached my ultimate threshhold of embarassment. And to my surprise, when I looked down at the machine, I had been on for almost 3o minutes already.

This is the dance that funk built....

Although I was done with my workout... I had to end with this, my walk out song...

I see you baby... Shaking that ass......

Tune in next week, when I plan to embarass myself in a totally different way... At a restaurant perhaps? the mall? A spa? Comments or emails to would be much appreciated. Until then, thanks for reading!

Monday, June 16, 2008

It's official! Every being in my house has a shoe fetish

I couldn't find Nico earlier, and when I called and he didn't come running I got nervous. This is how I found the poor thing, and I still feel guilty because I left him (after making sure he was fine just not sure how to proceed) and ran to get my camera to take this picture

Concoction of the Day; Maple Chicken and Avocado Wrap

When I was younger, I would spend hours in the kitchen creating recipes my mother and sister would laughingly refer to as "concoctions". In honor of that I'm making monday concoction of the day day, and will share a recipe each monday that is my very own. At special request, next Monday I plan to post the first thing I ever set out to master; sauce and meatballs. It took me years to get it right, and I've finally come to a place i don't think I can improve upon it any more. My sicilian husband prefers it to his mothers (thank god she doesnt have a computer!) This recipe I just created and ate, inspired by this gorgeous avocado I saw in a neighbor's tree while walking Reigna. Usually when you order something with avocado in it at a restaurant you get about 2-3 phyllo dough thin slices per sandwich/ salad. I wanted to make a lunch that highlighted the avocado in all it's glory, which is why I chose a wrap so the bread wouldn't distract.

Maple Chicken and Avocado wrap

Grocery list
Boars head maple chicken (my new favorite lunch meat) about three slices per wrap
Avocado, 1 per every two wraps.
lemon juice
fine sea salt
five peppercorn pepper blend(pink green red black white) ( I get this at fresh market) but black pepper will do fine
light mayo
boars head picante provolone ( two thin slices per wrap)
whole grain wraps

Head the oven to 375. Place wraps inside foil and warm for about five minutes
Meanwhile, roughly chop the avocado ( I tried to slice it using this green thing, which is supposed to be an avocado slicer but probably couldn't even slice room temperature butter.
Season the avocado with the juice of half a lemon or a few good squirts of those lemon shaped juice thingies. Ground pepper and sprinkle salt to taste. Juilienne the cheese and maple chicken, or just hack at it with a good knife a few times like I did. Then remove the wraps, spread a thin layer of mayo on each one, and put the chicken, then the cheese, and then heaps of the avocado on top. Roll over and seal, which I could barely do since I stuffed nearly an entire avocado into mine. But the mayo acts as a decent glue to hold the thing together. Enjoy! I know I did. I'd love to hear about your experience with this dish, or any of the other recipes I've posted.

Here's the finished product. As you can see I took a bite - I absolutely could not resist!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Blogger Do At Tobacco Rd

Hey People!
Sunday Morning ditty A La Seinfeld, enjoy;

*Clears throat*

Believe it or not, last night I wasn't at home! While R laid out fast asleep... I must have been out, or I'd have been on the phone... Where could I have been? Believe it or not, I wasn't home....

At a Blogger party, do you talk about what you Blog about or Blog about what you talk about??

Last night was the blogger party at Tobacco Rd, which is Miami's Oldest Bar. I planned on getting there almost two hours late after I sat on my bum on Lincoln Rd for over an hour w. aiting for them all to show up for brunch..And I was still there before more than half the crowd!, including Balou, Fanless, Ipanemic, Consumable Joy, and others had even showed up.

Multi -Colored Moon Over Miami

When I did get there, Tere from a Mom, a blog, and the life in between, and Chris from Man or Maniac were there with my girl Miami Rhapsody.. Blue Moon drinking commenced immediately! I have been waiting to get some good pics to post with this little ditty here, but all the ones any of them got were blurry... except my buddy ipanemic got this fabulous picture of my very own blue moon over miami before my drunk on blue moon ass fell off the rickity plastic chair i was sitting on.

Then Gus and Michelle from showed up and the party really began. I introduced them all to blue moon, and even Michelle, who is not a beer drinker liked it. I felt like a proud Mama! There was lots and lots of photo taking, which bloggers tend to do, but since we were having such a time, most people's came out blurry. I love hanging out with my Miami bloggers. Excuse the cliche, but there is absolutely never a dull moment. The two biggest only in Miami moments of the night happened at nealry the same time and in almost the same place, and yet one of them no one knew about until after.

The Scuffle AKA Only in Miami

Firstly my buddy A* and one of the wait staff got into what I will politely call a scuffle. I have to thank A for standing up for us, as the wait staff were trying to take our food away before we were done and seemed quite peeved that this rowdy group of bloggers who were only drinking beer and not doing shots. Or maybe we were just too old for them, since we can all legally drink.. I thought about getting involved, I wanted to say something, but tk god Ipanemic helped me fight the urge. Alex took care of it for us anyway. I mean, there are only so many times a waiter can try to take your food or drink while you are in the midst of eating or drinking it without some sort of conflict ensuing... This happened Miami Bloggers,, Tobacco Road while I was sitting at this booth, who knows, possibly at the same time since I don't remember Balou taking it. She went to take a pic of Scott and ended up getting this couple in the background. Look how the guys hand is on a steadily southward migration!
* names have been changed to protect the innocent since I just learned about Google Alerts

Waiting for Godot

Okay, what I was really waiting for was to sober up to drive home, but catchy subhead, eh? This weekend should be another fun talk about blog about blog about talk about weekend since Yvette/Miami Rhapsody is having a birthday party at her house! Which leads me to my cheesy closing joke I thought of yesterday driving

Q: What's the most important thing on the invitation to any Blogger Do if you want a good turnout?

A: Free Wi -Fi!