Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Waiting For The Sun

Of course I had to wait until my absolute last day in Miami to try to tan, and of course I had to spend the sunny morning on the internet, packing, and cleaning. By the time I was ready to tan the sun was doing this in and out thing that made me feel like it was literally fucking me. Thankfully I came into the garage before it started spitting down. It now looks like a hurricane, and Samstyl's flight to VT via NY was CANCELLED this AM, and I am scheduled to fly out tomorrow, same airport, same airline, to Boston which last time I checked was not all that far from NY. My flight tracker claims we are still on time for departure tomorrow morning, but I don't believe it! I don't even like to drive in the rain, and although I've been flying many many times a year since birth, I still am uneasy about flying ( especially landing) in the rain.

In other news, I found my favorite camp counselor and the only other person in the universe I have found worthy to share my nickname on Facebook. It gave me the chills, seeing these girls who seemed so much older and more worldly when I was 8-14 and now I realize are only 4 years older than me which is pretty much nada at this point. I still have not been back to camp since I got kicked out the night of the play (Wizard of Oz, in which I had a plum role as Uncle Henry) which was a week before my senior year ended, taking the fall for doing the same things all my friends were doing and also the fall for every other thing that had gone wrong all summer. Soda tabs in the vending machine? Must have been me.. Laundry ladies smoking pot in star camp? Must have been me. I'm getting all upset reliving it here but it's also kind of an escape into the Things That Went Wrong And You Can't Change a Damn Thing About It. from my more pressing and immediate anxieties, The Things That Haven't Actually Gone Wrong Yet But Still Could.

Any secret, moses code or celestine prophecy reader would tell me right now, no Bohopoetgirl, the sun is not fucking you. The universe is not fucking you.

You are fucking yourself.

That's what she said.

I'm off to scan some old camp photos into the computer. :)