Went to BED to See Adam Freeland for WMC

I wish I was still there. Between the bed, the energy, the pink Moet, the strawberries and the insanely good music, it was a TIME! I'm still recovering!

Sam's Birthday Boat Trip Part One of I don't know how many yet

A couple of days before her birthday, my bff Samstyl called me in a complete state of panic.

She looks super upset to my right, right? Let's not get ahead of ourselves

Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by myself ( see mom I do it to everyone!) Samstyl was freaking out about the birthday surprise boyfriend Seth was planning for her.
"All I know is that I have to bring a bathingsuit and wake up really early on a Saturday morning," she said. "Wearing a bathingsuit and being up at the crack of dawn's ass on a Saturday are my two least favorite things in the world."

Without giving it all away, as Seth and I had been planning this for weeks, I had to at least tell her she didn't have to go swimming if she didn't want to. This later will prove to be false as even though I have no great desire to swim around in ice cold water on a cloudy day with various sea creatures, my bladder had a great need to be emptied. And, can't imagine why, no one wanted me to pee right off the back of the ladder I had to climb down to get in.....

Wait, is this post about Sam's B-Day or my bladder.....

Anyway, we arrived at the at the marina across from the Eden Rock on Collins in Mid beach at 840 AM, 20 minutes early. We lugged champagne, strawberries, Einstein's bagels and cream cheese, water, beer, fruit salad, cake, towels, and accoutrements. down to the dock, where we we were met by the captain of a glorified dinghy. Richy started waxing poetic about all the Cigarette's we could have borrowed (YEAH right, I know Skippy better !) And the crowd grew visibly nervous as we waited for Jackie and Junior AKA Doody.
Seth tried, hastily to get a free upgrade. It was time to pile into the one engine shell of a 14 foot hull. The sun wasn't out, the air was a bit nipply, but we were rocking and rolling, sure our captain was going to let us smoke on the thing
I attempted to make Mimosas with plastic champagne goldblets, but as I made them juice, then strawberry, then champagne, the strawberry acted at a seal, keeping the grove-fresh OJ and the champagne separate... But I wouldn't notice that yet.

Pretty soon we were in open water, cruising past Key Biscayne, and even this non boat owning boat snob had to agree. This little POS had some Cajones!


The Veuve Cliquot was flowing, leading me and subsequently Sam and Jackie into a rousing round of "Champagne on a little boat" When Sam spilled champagne on herself and declared it was raining, we all looked the other way. "It's Champagning!" I said. However, when she spilled onto the outboard engine and turned around with a straight face on and told it " I'm sorry" before turning back around to finish her story, we decided to give drinking a break for a few hours...

Stay tuned.... Or whatever that is in laptop land - logged on

XOXOXOXOXO

Becca

PS
Am so excited, Richy and I are going to B.E.D. tonight to see Adam Freeland...HAHA I'm a hyperlinking fool!

Angry Miamians Against SoBe Drivers (AMASD)

If I only had one of these... Well, that's a whole other story....

After living on 8th and Michigan for a few years, before packing it in and moving to the shores, I perfected a technique that can only be pulled off by the bold and/ or stupidly fearless.

It’s not your turn to walk, in fact, the light up hand is glaring at you but you’re hungry, damn it, and Wild Oats is only two blocks away… cars are coming left and right and you see up ahead there’s a small break in traffic, enough to get across if you run or the oncoming car just slightly slows down.

Here’s what you do -

DON’T RUN!

Throw your shoulders back, chest out , head high, and strut across that street while looking directly at the human being inside that flying (flying at your face right now but it’s ok, you’ve almost made it) hunk of fiberglass and metal..."I dare you to hit me” you will say with your eyes. Trust me, they will slow down. I’m living proof..

WARNING: This activity is not recommended for walking with children or animals, adults over the age of sixty- five, the inebriated, anyone over 300 pounds, and straight white men.

OYE MI POEMA!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was Born in Sedona

Everyone says otherwise. They drive me

Past a hospital in downtown Hartford

And say, up there, fourth floor. I say,

No, in a small artist co-op overlooking

Boynton Canyon Rock. No doctor, no drugs.

Just us and a midwife who knew

The Celestine Prophecy by heart.

They show me a certificate that says, baby girl, 4:17 pm, Mt. Sinai Hospital

And all the rest of the clichés I could have lived by.

All that first night my mother was my cradle

as I looked out at the acres of red

Rock, absorbing the Arizona sun which

Turned liquid red then dark orange into blue, cacti in the

Distance slowly enveloped by a cloak of navy, laying quietly

In the arms of a woman who hitchhiked cross

country to give birth

Because she was answering the call.

All night they meditated and prayed

My mother telling me names of

Crystals that sounded as strong and fierce as the women

Who wore them; Amazonite, Citrine, Adventurine.

One began to paint my portrait

in oils, a painting I have never

Seen but love, the way you cannot see your

Organs but you know that they are there. All around

Pottery wheels hummed, feet kept the rhythm, and the air smelled of burning white

Sage and amber. That morning she faced us both east

toward a wall of windows, where the sun was

Rising steadily behind miles of deep red rock, gently shaking me

Until my eyes opened into the awakening landscape

of a new day.

You wonder why I am impossible

To tame.

And talk about things like spirit guides

And insisted on driving to Sedona alone, from Phoenix

To hike four miles in the rapidly cooling dusk to sit

At a vortex site and meditate, holding a heart carved

Of snowflake obsidian.

Why I burn sage to clean the house

And refuse to shower every day,

No matter who complains. Look into my eyes!

They were born gazing into the endless expanse of the Arizona desert,

Red mountains full of vortices where concentrated eternal energy

Can help you answer your own questions

The rising sun changing the sky over those mountains, while that shock

Was immortalized by an artist whose

Name I never learned.

I told you before. I was born in Sedona.

Table 8, Worth the Wait Parts 1 & 2

Part One

One of my favorite tips from my favorite foodie, Rachael Ray, is to do new/pricey restaurants for lunch, it’s a much more affordable way to try a place. My bff SamStyl and I have lunch out together at least once a week. Our favorite haunts are Joe Allens, Macaluso’s ( I call her and say let’s do Macaluncho’s), and Michaels. If we’re not in the mood to spend 20$/ person, we do Secret Sandwich or grab pizza at Steve’s. Last Friday we were feeling fabulous, and were on our way to the Front Porch when I spotted Table 8. It looked fabulous, and so we decided to go in. It was 2pm on a friday afternoon. We were seated in woven leather chairs with thick cushions and handed thick, leather menu’s. For some reason, it took about 20 minutes to get my pelligrino and Sam’s iced tea and place our order. That was the most annoying part of our lunch but it gave us a chance to figure out our best plan of attack for this new menu. We finally decided to split the turkey club and the short rib grilled cheese. Although it took another twenty minutes for it to arrive, we had a delicious kalamata olive, fresh herb and fruity olive oil tapenade to eat with toasted bagel chips and onion pockets. When the food finally arrived, it was definitely worth the wait - best turkey club EVER, people!

Part Two

Okay, the turkey club had oven roasted turkey cut to the perfect thickness and piled on thick toasted white peasant bread, slices of the freshest avocado I have ever had, boston bibb lettuce, marinated plum tomatoes, thick slices of applewood smoked bacon, and an amazing fresh herb and dijon mustard mayo that tasted a bit like bearnaise and also a little bit like heaven. It was served with a frisee salad I basically ignored and white truffle oil homemade potato chips. Honestly, SamStyl and I could have split the sandwich, which was 12$, and been totally full. But then we would have missed out on the french fries and the short rib grilled cheese ($15). Thick toasted buttery bread,red onion marmalade, melted bel paese cheese with shreds of deliciously braised short ribs mixed in, and the best french fries I have had in recent memory. The bill, including 18% gratuity, was 46.25, but I also ordered a large bottle of pelligrino for myself. We probably could have ordered just the club, with the french fries and had tap water and been out of there for under 20$. Add to that the beautiful boys walking by, all in town for White party weekend, and it really was the perfect SoBe lunch

Table 8 South Beach
1458 Ocean Dr, Miami Beach, FL 33139
(305) 695-4114

Located in the Regent Hotel

XOXOXOXOXO

Barton G.'s Liquid Nitrogen Drinks - is a little smoke worth 40$?

R and I went to Barton G.'s friday night, which we hadn't been to in forever. We used his boss's name and got a prime 830 reservation last minute. I don't know what impressed the Maitre'd more, my husband's job ( he is the head of paint and graphics at Cigarette, the Offshore boating legend and number one exclusive fast boat manufacturer worldwide, which brought us to Miami in the first place) I'll have to post about him and his fascinating rise from a graffiti writing kid in Queens to being the internationally known painter he is now- or the fact that we had just woken up at 1 pm on a friday afternoon. I told her I'd show her Miami Miami Style! Erica Braver, who is in the PR dept at Cigarette told us we absolutely had to get the liquid nitrogen drinks, b/c the alcohol freezes and as it melts the alcohol releases in some special way and you get really drunk. Not that I ever need the help - I get really drunk on 2 glasses of Pinot Nior!
The Barton G website, www.bartong.com, calls the drinks the "Below Zero Nitro Bar"
"liquid nitrogen, a cyrogenic fluid with a temp of -320 degrees F, is the key element in creating these new high octane cocktails"

BTW, WTF does that mean? In my opinion, it was a 40$ Martini with a lot of flash, and worth it if someone else is paying that's not your husband...
In the spirit of Journalism, though, I ordered two.
Richy got the BlueBerry 8 Ball, which made me think, our drink bill is going to be way more than a real one! The drink description is "Tanqueray 10 Gin, Muddled blueberries, lime juice, simple syrup, and a Tanqueray 10 and blue curacao pop." It also cam with a magic 8 ball on a big plate. We had fun asking it stupid questions - "Am I going to have fun tonight?" - hello - when does a night out with my darling Richy Rich ever not involve fun, and lots of it? My second drink was a Sin - Sation, which in my opinion is the drink to get if you are into spending 40$ on Martini's, which I definitely don't think I am, OMG, you all might never believe this, but the shuffle of my Itunes just put on Rockstar by Nickelback - is that what I get for this shameless voyeuristic look into our own consumerism? BTW, why does my face look fat in this photo above? It is so not!

Moving on, the Sin- Sation is Nitrogenized Absolut Vanilla and Rose Petal Nectar topped with champagne. If any of these drinks seemed slightly worth it, this was the one. Not only was it delicious, but it got me toasted and was served with a frozen closed beautiful rosebud and rose petals were poured all around the plate and all around her and me on my second drink, and it was very lush and indulgent.. In short, I loved it!

My first drink I wasn't incredibly impressed with was the Zen Tini. I don't remember it being served with anything special - is that a part of being Zen? All I could think was I'm not gonna be so Zen when I get this bill! Man I am such a Jew ( sorry Grandma, if I thought you could actually turn on your computer and I hadn't worked on 41st St in Miami Beach for a year I'd never say something like that). It was Absolut Rasberri, Triple Sec, Fresh Rasberries, and an Absolut Rasberri vodka pyramid... Hmm... Dont remember that. Just rasberry, vodka, and a big chunk of ice in the middle. Guess that was the "Pyramid"... We also had shrimp, beef carpaccio, and various other small plates, since we were going out dancing afterwards... Location undisclosed to protect the guilty!!!

Verdict: Barton G $40 Martini, kindof worth it if you've got the money and you know which one to order, kindof worth it if you don't order more than one and ridiculous to order on top of a full dinner I recommend going for drinks and apps like we did - our bill was still almost $300... but you still can't complain because you got to go to Barton G and it was your idea..... And because the atmosphere, the fanfare, the presentation, the service and the quality is consistently top notch. And that impresses me. Our waiter told me he was going to commit suicide if I smiled at him one more time... That my friend, is worth the $!

Procrastination Station

It's always nice to have friends from out of town come stay with you, but it's always nice when they go home too. My friend Carissa from high school was visiting from last thursday until tuesday night, and while we had a blast, I missed my blog! And my time alone. Nothing like someone else in your house to realize how selfish you are... And I still haven't written a fraction of what I've set out to have written in the last week.. What is the major mental malfunction here? I swear, it takes me over an hour to make a 30 minute meal! Today, instead of finishing my article about the blogger brunch at nexxt, I ;

1. Cleaned an entire white area rug with a toothbrush and a bucket of oxiclean and hotwater
2. Researched ( but did not go to store or actually purchase or write down specifics) new washer and dryer ( thinking of going with Whirlpool Duet)
3. Emailed the girl from Marine Parade to try to figure out how to get my tickets for Adam Freeland at Bed next Thursday since my dumbass deleted my entire inbox when I was drunk
4. Took pictures of Hibiscus, Lucky, ugly purple bush in corner of yard. Posted some to MiamiBeach411.com
http://forums.miamibeach411.com/index.php?/forums/viewthread/1928/
5. Thought guiltily about finishing blogger brunch article
6. Called my mom and bitched about how ugly my younger sister's bridesmaid dresses are and why I have to wear and pay 304.50 for one