Criminals in Your Neighborhood and Mine

I had forgotten the link to that awesome site that shows you all the criminals in your neighborhood until my amazing friend Jess resent it to me yesterday. It is Felonspy.com

I haven't used it since I lived in SoBe so I was excited to learn Miami Shores is scarce on criminals, but to my North there are two sex offenders, and to my west are three young stalkers. Due south of me is a robber. YAY.

It's on days like this I am thankful to have a 96 lb German Shepherd, a 20 pound jumping barking biting Min Pin that scares some people more than the shepherd , and ADT. Oh and a husband from Queens.

Every little bit helps.

All About My Sister's Wedding

That would be a great Jeopordy before and after answer, I say! I'm sitting in my garage chain smoking and drinking regular coke from a can as I bawl my eyes out like a little girl. My little sister is getting married, and it's to the most amazing guy for her I could have ever dreamt up. Because I was 3 and a half when she was born, and my photographic memory that somehow made it through my college experiment to see how many brain cells I really needed, I remember everything. Her first step, the way my mom would set her up at the beach on a towel with a family size bag of jax and a sippy cup of sprite and the kid was in heaven. I remember her first step in our first house in Ellington, how she grabbed for the coffee table, with my mother and I cheering her on, pulled herself up with the most heart-melting smile and started tottering across the room.
I remember when she started dating.. How none of them ever really got her, really understood how amazing and big hearted and unique she is. Until she met Rico. The two of them were instantly inseparable, their first song w as that one by lighthouse that goes, "And there's you and me, and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose and there's you and me, and all of the people and I don't know why, I can't take my eyes off of you.."And when I met him, I was so greatful that they had found each other. Because life is so much better with true love in it. I remember how quickly they knew they wanted to marry each other. And here we are 3 years later 2 weeks from what looks to be the best wedding this family has seen since, well, mine. ( Sorry, I'm not known for my modesty) And I'm reading this wedding detail email as I am planning the bachelorette party and when I get to the sentence the limo is coming back to take Ricardo and me home I just totally lost it, I couldn't imagine 2 people who deserve the happiness they have found together more. I'm happy to see my sister get married, I am beyond thrilled to see my sister get married to someone that is so right for her and loves her so much. I am still bawling my eyes out by the way, so I'm going to have to end this here, as I'm having a hard time typing.

Quote of the Day

"There is nothing more uncommon than common sense"

-Frank Lloyd Wright


Amen to that!

My 100th Post...

Because you've always wanted to whack a penis with a broom handle, and so have I, I have ordered the following for my sister's bachelorette mini fiesta ( alas the party girl's little sis wants a quiet night in with less than ten people)

I love this pic, down to the black hairy balls, so I have decided it 100th post worthy. Let you know how the whacking goes down on August 16th.

Crap! I deleted posts and now this is no longer #100

And I am saving something oh so special for that. So for this I guess I'll just tell you all the morning news that's not fit to print over here in Miami Whores. Nico and Lucky are trying to rip each other's heads off, I am procrastinating going to Costco and Party City, and R is at work. Reigna is in the shower. Lol. I leave to go back to CT in 12 days! Yeehaw! I can't wait to get out of this miserable Miami heat! I am starting to get excited for my sisters wedding. There will be so many parties and I get to eat and drink and not have it be my wedding at all of them! YAY! The bachelorette party is shaping up really nicely, and the wedding itself should be spectacular. I would expect no less from my perfectionist sister. I am so hungry right now, all I can think about is the food at each event. I must get off my freshly showered arse and go to the store right now!

Randy Pauch - You get my 99th Post- I heart you!

Randy Pauch, the amazingly inspiring youtube sensation and Carnegie Mellon professor who wrote and gave "The Last Lecture" crossed over to the other side of things today. Good Luck Randy! I would say may the force be with you, but it's clear it already is. Much sympathy to his wife and children who will not get to see him for a while.... I can't imagine losing a man like that... But then again, to have a man like that in your life, as a father, in your blood... That would be pretty freaking amazing.... He lived for over 2 years with a cancer that kills most within a month or two... I attribute that wholly to his rockin' attitude... Randy, you inspired and continue to inspire me to write and be who I am...You will always rock!

My fav Randy Pauch quote " The walls are not there to keep you from getting what you want. The walls are there for the other people - the ones who don't want it bad enough...."

Shear Genius:My Dog Edition Con't

This morning Reigna got a haircut. Because Nico didn't have too many left and someone in my house was still feeling pretty scissor happy... No idea who. And then the clippers came out. Reigna is in heaven because she feels fifty pounds lighter (and probably is) but she looks a mess. Who the hell put all those holes in her fur? And who cut Nico's whiskers off while I'm at it and gave him two near bald spots? I think it was Snarky Charlie. He snuck in my house and rocked those clippers......
I also solved a huge mystery of the dog kind, which was "Who is making these wet spots on the couch and why?" It's Lucky and it's because he is enthusiastically licking his A hole all over my pottery barn...
.The rest of this blog is a photo essay because a picture is worth a thousand haircut descriptions.....