Blue Moon Over Miami

And We're Publishing Poetry, Too!

2008-12-18T18:33:00.001-08:00

We just got this email!

Congratulations! AVQ will be publishing Air, Light, and Water in New York City and The Poet at Seventeen in our upcoming issue. Look for it Sunday, December 21st.

A Letter to Publix

2008-12-16T19:27:00.001-08:00

Dear Publix,

While I appreciate the concept of the Express Lane, you are failing in execution. If this were Top Chef, I would tell you to pack your knives and go. I commend you for giving the retardos mentally challenged jobs, but I don't understand why you assign your dumber than Sarah Palin slowest employees to the express lane. I'd like to inform you that some people only buy ten essential items b/c they are in a rush. So while you may call it the Express Lane, assigning the retardos handicapable to those 2 lanes, and enforcing the ten items rule as much as the police in Amsterdam enforce the illegalities of certain drugs totally negates your efforts.

That's not all, Publix. I know times are tough but your produce lately has been atrocious. I have come home with garlic that has green shoots inside when chopped, have been unable to buy cut watermelon because it's all watery and mushy, and Vidalia onions that looked fine but when cut into had blue and green mold inside. I have also unwittingly bought sliced bread that had a crescent shaped cut through each and every piece that made it flap and flop around like something the blog Nazis my relatives who shall remain anonymous would call and yell at me if I wrote.

And is it too much to ask that you once in a while put steak on sale that isn't so old it remembers where it was when J.F.K was shot? Also, you should know that your prices are way higher than other grocery store chains, like Big Y, Stop & Shop, and Kroger's to name a few. Maybe you should send a team to do some reconnaissance at those stores.

You really need to enforce the no tipping policy you supposedly have for the baggers that insist on pushing my cart out. I cannot tell you how many times one of your baggers has grabbed my cart and practically ran with it out the door, then gave me a look like my dogs would if I had a pork chop on a string around my neck. I had no problem pushing my cart around the store did I? I don't see anyone running up and grabbing my cart while I am shopping, no matter how full it is. And now I have to tip these people or else they will just stand there with that face and stand behind my car so I can't pull out without hitting them. You've got to raise their hourly wages and/or or stop hiring convicted felons because even if they have to get run over, your rabid baggers are determined to get money out of people no matter how. I mean, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies shop! If I could afford it, I would be at Fresh Markup, but alas, it looks like we are stuck with each other for now.

On a lighter note, I quite enjoy your holiday commercials. They make me cry. But since you suck so much in every other way I wonder if that's because I'm pregnant *shudders* or hopefully just have The PMS. Please look at the envelope for my address in case you realize I totally deserve $$$$ and/or free groceries (including wine and beauty products) for the rest of my life for all the trauma you have caused my fragile soul.

Sincerely,

BohoPoetGirl

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Chrismakkuh!

2008-12-14T18:05:00.001-08:00

First of all, a good Chrismakkkuh Tree must be fake. Who wants to shlep home a dog piss magnet while scratching their nice car? Oh yeah! That's what my Goy husband is for! This year we, like a bride, have something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue on our Tree. I swear it wasn't planned – excluding the blue!

The tree, like an interfaith wedding I guess, blends traditions from each of our religions.

Santa:

Blue Balls: A tribe tradition! Though it would be more fitting if they were broken. Ironically enough, I actually did break a blue ball yesterday, but failed to catch it on camera since I was a bit more concerned about glass in puppy paws.

My husbands letter to Santa:

And lots of ornaments representing things I just can't get enough of. Ever:

My babies like to sit under the tree:

And here's what I'll be getting this year for Hannukah:

I figured out the striky thingy all on my own! Happy Holidays!

BohoPoet Girl Goes Meme While Decorating the Chrismukkah Tree ( More About That Tomorrow)

2008-12-13T16:01:00.001-08:00

I have never done a Meme before,but Tere of A Mom, a Blog, and the Life in Between does them all the time so I decide to copy the lastest one and fill it in for tonight's post.

I consider googling it so I can get the exact origin of the phrase. I mean is it because it's about Me Me? Or a Memoir about Me? Me Memories? Off to googlesearch now.
HUH AND WTF?
"The lack of a consistent, rigorous definition of what precisely a meme is remains one of the principal criticisms leveled at memetics, the study of memes."

Then I realize I'm the only one confused, all you innernets probably know exactly what it is. So here goes:

My Ex Was: Not boring.

Maybe I Should: Write more, submit more, dream more, and analyze myself less.

I Don't Understand: A lot of things, but mainly, why I can't quit you!

People Would Say that Im: A free spirit

I lost my: Blue camera I bought to replace the cheaper older black one I had and then found the black one.

Love is: Not always enough.

Somewhere, someone is: Still mad at me.

I will always: Hope.

Forever is: How long it's going to take me to become the writer I want to be.

I never want to: Eat any sort of sea meat.

I think the current president: Is a mega douchebag and has an IQ of -75.

When I wake up in the morning: I feel tired and want more sleep unless I've nowhere to go. Then I'm wide awake.

Life is full of: Liminol moments.

My past is: what got me here.

I get annoyed when: People are slow to drive, speak, forgive, or get going.

Parties are for: "Sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone."- Billy Joel

I wish: I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller....But seriously, I wish I were spending NY Eve with Anna.

My dogs are: the cutest and weirdest little beings I have ever loved.

My cat is: Now my sisters cat. But we had a hell of a time, her and I.

Kisses are the worst: When the kisser has the breath. Just come smell Lucky "Baby Fish Mouth" Or Nico, Nico, Poopy eater.

Tomorrow I'm going to: mop the floor, read a book by Paulo Coelho, finish my Chrismakkuh decorating, cook, plan my week, finish the laundry, write a blog post, and spend entirely too much time online.

I really want to: Publish more.

I have low tolerance for people: who are Judgy Judgertons.

If I had a million dollars: Oh the places I would go! I'd have a new Louis laptop case in my hand, and Christian Leboutoin shoes, I could steer myself any direction I choose!

Goodnight Mooners!

Personal Service Announcement ( Becca talks about BohoPoetGirl)

2008-12-12T14:40:00.000-08:00

It has come to my attention that a lot of people just don't get it, this blogging thing. Or the writing thing - which is odd because I doubt you all thought Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner was an autobiography, and yet, here I am, finding my back against the wall yet again with claims I'm embarrassing myself. This is not myself. This is a tiny piece of my personality, exaggerated into a fictional character. Reference my blogroll to sex and the beach if you want to make an attempt to understand what I am talking about. Is Maria De Los Angeles Manola Blahblahblahnick? Hell no! Is she a damn good writer who makes me laugh? Hell yes! Does she agree with plenty of what Manola says, sure! But it doesn't make it HER. I'm trying to find the humor in what I see around me. This blogging thing is my living breathing portfolio. If I wrote about things how they actually happened, you would understand that you'd much rather read about BohoPoetGirl. And I'd much rather write about her. What is fact and what is fiction? Exactly the point. I'll never tell. So if you can't take the heat, get the hell out of Blue Moon Over Miami! Now you've been warned. If anyone brings this up EVER again, I will simply reference you again to this blog post. Perhaps copy it into an email. Esta Todo.

And with that, I wish you all a good evening. I might attend Maria streaming live tomorrow night from her new blog, which she did not bring Manola too btw.

You didn't actually think I drained my pool with a saucepot, or at all, did you??

PS

BohoPoetGirl was just nominated for a content award in the humor category for being a "Hilarious blogger" and "Fab Writer." To those of you that get it, know you are who I am writing for, and why I will never stop writing.
Ok.

On my morning walk

2008-12-01T09:19:00.001-08:00

Crossing past Barry I literally stumbled into something carved into the sidewalk. I turned around to read it and it said;

"God is real. He love you."

Sounds like G^d needs some grammar lessons, huh?

I'm available.

ThanksGiving for 2 (+3 dogs) Part Two

2008-11-27T12:03:00.000-08:00

I am soooooo full! I continued my holiday tradition of making mostly recipes I've never made before. For the innernet recipes, the only change I made was add 4 tbsp 1/2 & 1/2 to the soup, which is incredibly yummy. My mashed potatoes follow:

Becca's Mashed Potatoes

3-4 larges Idaho potatoes
cream cheese
1/2 & 1/2
sour cream
butter
fresh ground pepper blend
tastefully simple's garlic garlic seasoning ( 1 tbsp for 3 lg potatoes) or a few oven roasted cloves.

Peel potatoes and cut into large chunks, then place in half full medium size pot. Let sit a few hours. turn water on high and bring to a boil. Turn down to medium and boil until fork-tender. Drain into colandar, then put back into warm pot. Add 4 tbsp butter, 4 tbsp sour cream, 1 tbsp garlic garlic, 3 splashes 1/2 &1/2 and 3 tbsp cream cheese. Mash with potato masher and then blend with immersion blender or hand mixer or fork until they are as smooth as you want them. Enjoy!

As for the chocolate cream pie, it's the simplest thing in the universe; make some chocolate pudding according to box instructions. Put in fridge to set. Make a graham cracker crust according to graham cracker crumb box instructions. Put in fridge. When you are almost ready to have dessert, mix one container cool whip with the pudding and pour into pie shell. Et Voila!

And here are the pictures to prove it.

Butternut Squash For Soup:

The "roux" for the soup

All Together now and ready to eat after being blended

Green Bean Casserole

Turkey Rolls

I can Mash Potato

And of course, My Big Bad Bloody Mary for Richy:

Start with a cocktail shaker full of ice and add:
3 Oz Grey Goose
2 splashes worcesteshire
2 squirts lemon juice
2 huge green olives
3 drops siracha sauce
2 tsp white horseradish
lots of fresh ground pepper
sea salt to taste
fill with tomato juice.
shake it like a polaroid picture.

Pour into snowman glass, garnish with celery and olives and serve. Pour yourself a glass of red b/c you don't like these drinks, but they make Richy sleepy so you can watch whatever you want onthe big Tv and that is something to be thankful for!

As for the chocolate cream pie. I'm too full and tired....We'll have that tonight as we just had dessert of a very different nature ;)

Here is a picture of Nico post- 1st feast:

And with that, blogger, I'm about five words away from doing a face-plant into my laptop.. Goodnight.

ThanksGiving for 2 (+3 dogs)

2008-11-27T06:37:00.000-08:00

here's the menu

Butternut Squash Soup
Turkey breast rolled around stuffing
Mashed Potatoes
Green Bean Casserole
Cranberry Sauce
Gravy
Chocolate Cream Pie

I'll add recipes and pics later if you click on the soup, the turkey, and the casserole all those recipes are from the innernets.

And it's Nico's 1st Thanksgiving!!

Sarah Cohen Goldstein from MidBeach - JAPerickelah for VP!

2008-11-06T06:14:00.000-08:00

In yesterday's festivities and barrage of news coverage, a statistic caught my eye. It claimed that 95% of voting African Americans voted for Obama. All I could think about was the other 5%. I thought to myself, if a Jew was running for Pres or VP, it would be 100%. Then three terrifying words popped into my head. "Sarah Palin 2012."

I tried to think of the Jewish equivelent of Sarah, which is in the header. The thing is, sex and the beach already did it in video as a Cuban drug dealer Mom, Sarah Gonzalez (Here's Why) and with appropriate timing... Oh well..

Anyway, Sarah Cohen Goldstein is just another Cushman Mom in Dior at Epicure. Foreign policy, Hello she lives in My AAAAAhh Meeee? And her baby nurse is from Sweden. Her housekeeper is from Honduras. Her pool guy is Cuban. Her gardener is Mexican. Oy, her house is practically the U.N.!! She can take the heat too, literally, since she has to wear long skirts and long sleeves all the time. Spending? Maverick, Schmaverick, JAPerickelah... Sarah Cohen Goldstein will get a better deal!

So the question is, not to compare the president elect with Sarah Palin, but maybe to some African Americans( that 5%) his ideas rubbed them as wrong as her voice rubbed most of America?? Or is this five percent the SuperRichRepublicanElite? Is this five percent motivated by nothing but the fear of the phrase "Tax increases for the very wealthy?" I don't know, but I sure am curious.

And I wonder, would the Jewish community and religious leaders and the "ahem" Liberal Media Elite ( which are all Jews) urge us to vote for Sarah just because she is Jewish? Did that happen in the African American community? My friend Hansel who spent some time volunteering for Obama happens to think the NAACP comes and takes you away if you didn't vote for Obama. Since he is African American, he is allowed to say things like that, just like I can say that most Jewish women complain a lot.

Either way, I'll be watching for the SWAT teams.

I Voted Today!!

2008-11-04T08:08:00.000-08:00

It was nothing like I thought it would be. I arrived at ten-thirty and was done in fifteen minutes. When I was next up to vote, I got that "I'm in another dimension" feeling, and I almost shed a tear. I controlled myself however. I somehow got stuck with the world's crappiest privacy thingy. The left side kept falling down on my head every time I filled a bubble in. At one point I looked around to see if anyone was going to help me with the damn thing, but alas, I just kept on rebalancing it and bubbling away. So many amendments! Also, I think they should tell you if people are republicans or democrats every time. Obama/Biden, No on 2. That's what I went in there for, and that's what I did.

No matter what happens, I am happy today. (Hey Sarah Gonzalez) Here's Why...

George W. Bush will never, ever be our president again! Like EVER! If that man had half a brain it would be retarded...

Also, my IQ is 31 points higher than Sarah Palin's... Maybe I should be the next VP. Just not with any candidate who's party ends with "ublican".

It's Miami- Get Out There and Reggaeton the Vote!

2008-11-04T05:44:00.000-08:00

Good Morning Voting Public!!!

I am getting ready to head off to the polls with No Reservations... You know, by Anthony Bourdain?
I have to admit something. This is the first time I have voted. I was eligible to vote in 2000 & 2004 but I was so, as Penn Badgley put it, "Politically apathetic" then. I didn't feel bad about it either - Both elections I lived in a state that's as blue as the winters are cold - Connecticut. I hated-hate-will always hate Bush. Like I've said before, the only Bush I trust is my own, and to be frank, I haven't had one of those since before he took office the first time. I have butterflies in my stomach, perhaps because it's my first date with the polls. Or possibly because I'm hungry. Either way, Obama just voted, so I better get a move on it.

Blogging Buzz

There's been some chatter about opening up a new blog just for my greys recaps. I know it's a good idea, but I haven't been blogging enough other stuff recently to justify starting a whole new blog. Anyone want to send me a Greys layout for the new blogger page and maybe a header too? OK, and maybe a name? As always, email is appreciated. Bohopoetgirl@gmail.com.

Weird Song Wednesday from the vault in my mind

2008-10-22T11:27:00.000-07:00

I performed this song in the days when Britney and I looked more alike ( I was blonde, she wasn't fat) on a video that belongs to people I am no longer friends with.. who enjoy showing it to whoever they feel like.... How do I know this? I have been recognized more than once by random, random people in CT as that girl... You know, the one who dressed up in full Britney style get up - knee high boots, a corset, and a really short black skirt,(and yes, underwear) dramatically pulled a tapestry across a curtain rod and jumped down from a lofted bed to sing a song she wrote to the tune of Lucky about all the whorebags at UConn.... At least I used to think they were.... Compared to the men and women of Miami, they were frigid prudes.... End of disclaimer...

"Easy" to the tune of Lucky by Britney Spears

Early morning
she wakes up
with a kick, kick, kick out the door....
Last night's make-up.... wine stained smile
it's not to hard to be a whore ( baby)

Isn't she slutty, this typical girl???

And they say, she's so easy, she's a bike,
and they ride, ride, ride her through the nite
thinking, why the fuck does, this happen to me?
I don't want any... STDs

Lost in Alumni, just 18
and she feels like she's gonna throw up
and his hair is thinning but she keeps on sinning
So tell me, where did she wake up?

Isn't she loose as the Holland tunnel
and they say, she's so easy, the town bike
and they ride, ride, ride her through the nite
thinking, it is hurting, every time I pee
Oh crap I have an STD

Test results: and the winner is, Chlamydia!
I'm Joe Husky standing behind her at the school pharmacy
waiting to spread word of her affliction...

Oh my god, stock up on condoms!

Isn't she slutty, this cow-town bred girl?
She is so easy, and maybe she's Bi
If there's nothing, missing in her life
why does she fuck everyone in sight?

And they say, she's so easy, she's a bike
and they ride, ride ride her through the night
Thinking, I hope no one knows I had an STD
I still haven't finished the b-ball team.....

For my Friends When I'm Away (May 2000)

2008-10-20T14:25:00.000-07:00

Regarding the above map in reference to my summer romance with Eli - I spent the first month as a counselor to spoiled slutty hellions. It was like living in a cabin full of myself at that age and it was TOUGH. ( Try sitting in on a meeting about how you let your 12 (but I'm almost 13!) year old camper out of your sight long enough for her to get caught blowing a counselor in training.) Um lets see, I was never there after they fell asleep and the brats weren't morons! Sneaking out to Eli's was easy - he lived in Boy teen village and I lived right across that small path in girls teen. When I went (read: it was mutual) to horseback second session, I lived over near the girls camp, in a staff cabin, past that tennis racket icon... That was what we call the walk of shame, getting caught walking around Lake Wendy in the morning... Luckily horseback staff started way before everyone else, so I usually just brought my work clothes and walked straight to the dining hall from his (literally) tent. At least it had a platform, which was quite useful for late night calls of the wild...
I thought it appropriate to start with some of the poems I copied into this journal from the kind of decrepit notebook only a writer could visualize... This is a fun poem I wrote when I was getting ready to leave for the hills of Georgia...

For My Friends While I'm Away (c)

Do some drugs
and think of me
bitching to bugs
in 110 degree
Georgia sun.
your laugh an echo in my head
I hope my girls don't wet the bed
and that there will be pot to smoke
that kosher food won't make me choke
So shake your head and roll your eyes
but if Orit can do it, so can I
So write me lots and party hard
We'll see if I'm the camp retard
That comes home from a hike to say;
" I lost only one camper, it's been a good day."
In ten short weeks I will return
Of course there'll be a joint to burn
Of course there'll be new boys to meet
preferably ones who eat cheese on meat.

Who was Bohopoet girl 8 years ago??

2008-10-20T13:37:00.000-07:00

BohoPoetBookworm

A childhood dream of mine was to have my very own study, one with floor to ceiling bookcases lining one wall. Now I do, complete with navy blue drapes, it's very own bathroom with light blue original tile, and a navy blue futon (if you hadn't noticed, blue is my very favorite color.) Among the books are the references any indigo must have; The only Astrology Book You Will Ever Need, Love Cards, Destiny Cards, Sextrology, and a Tarot Pack..... Also is the countless journals I have kept from the days before blogging and laptops... I just opened one up that Eli (more about him HERE sent me as a birthday present after the summer I spent in Georgia, and I just opened it.

I'm going through it now, and plan on posting some of my writing from that time, a time where my identity was a more than just part of a whole....A time when although I maybe have worshipped Bacchus and Venus more than I ought, I was who I was and you either loved me or hated me....And I truly believed it was your loss should you choose the later...

That's what's so weird about life. We spend so much of our carefree period bitching about our lack of freedom, about how great it will be to have a house and be able to come home or do whatever you wanted with little to no consequences....Now we look back and remember how life seemed spread out in front of us like a buffet of pick your dream or posion....I know it's not too late...All this writing, all these old journals, are letters to myself, written long ago

What's Wrong With This Picture?

2008-10-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

According to Yahoo News the most important news of the day is The Sun in England reporting that Madonna and Guy Ritchie have reached an agreement in their divorce settlement.

I would rather marvel over the fact that Madonna has had so much plastic surgery, she is starting to look like the lovechild of Micheal Jackson and Beyonce....

Quotes of The Day

2008-10-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

Be Warned in Time, James,
and remain, as I do,
incomprehensible: to be
great is to be misunderstood.

- Oscar Wilde

A room without books is like a
body without a soul.

- unknown

Quote of the Day

2008-10-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

I don't know a soul who's not been battered
Don't have a friend who feels at ease
Don't know a dream that's not been shattered
Or Driven to its knees

-Paul Simon

Hey, Hey, It's GreysDay!!! And a guide to Message Board Speak

2008-10-16T15:17:00.000-07:00

Waiting to see what my ABC.com message board (MB) buddies have to say about tonight's Greys Episode. I might live blog it, I might go to a meeting instead... but the site is taking forever to load. I'm thinking I might check Television Without Pity (AKA TWOP in MB speak) to see what those girls have to say as well, since those boards are vigilant about going OT (Off-topic).

There used to be this awful troll (from wikipedia:"A troll is a user that repeatedly and intentionally breaches netiquette, often posting derogatory or otherwise inflammatory messages about sensitive topics in an established online community to bait users into responding, often starting flame wars" on there called PinkBallerina, and her and her kind kindof soured me on the MB's for a while.

Basic Forum Rules as Found on Wikipedia, with my input after each:

* No swearing or otherwise vulgar language
- Meredith is an ugly cunt, not going to fly she is just ugly and annoying... that is OK....I wish we got to see Derek's Penis is not cool, instead say you wish you got to see Derek full-frontal ( and he was in some soft core porn with Lisa Bonet for those hardcore Dr. Shepherd shippers.)

* No insulting or harassing fellow members
- Do I need to explain this, bitches??

* No advertising or spam
-There used to be this chick who came on the MB's all the time and all she would ever post was, hey, come check out my SUUUUUPER-COOL Greys site!!!! Here's the link!!! That's what that is. I think I may have harassed and insulted her swearing and using vulgar language. My bad. Especially since I myself have blogged about Greys and the MB and gone on to say come check out my blog, I wrote about you! And I might even do it again, but at least I know I'm doing wrong.

* No double posting
- Double posting is DUH. Don't do it, and edit it out if you do by mistake b/c the page is slow to load and you are impatient with your clicky finger.

* No multiple accounts
- Old Stinky Pinky, as I liked to call her, had many many names that were usually something disturbing since she was a grown woman, like ILIKELITTLEBOUYS or BarbiesRGreat. My favorite ever was "IMNOTPINKB" There were many threads where the school age children of the thread compared the personal details she would leak out in different names over time in different threads to prove it was her and she still would never cop.... Like these five users all live at their parents with five cats and don't drive. OK. Usually trolls will give themselves away because their incindiary accusations and awful grammar often remain the same.

* No links or information on warez or copyright infringing material
- I had to look up Warez on Wiki too, "it refers primarily to copyrighted works traded in violation of copyright law. The term generally refers to illegal releases by organized groups, as opposed to peer-to-peer file sharing between friends or large groups of people with similar interest using a darknet." ( OK, now have to look up Darknet: "a closed private network of computers used primarily for file sharing.")

* Do not resurrect dead threads
- NUBES ( Newbies to the MBs) do this all the time by mistake. They don't realize when there are too many pages to a given thread(topic)the posters there have started a new one so that people don't have to scroll through 45 pages to find what people are saying now. By resurrecting a dead thread you will confuse many people and generally mess up the order of things on the MB. Speculation and Discussion group ( where I went after the Great Spoiler Thread Split of 2007) has hundreds of threads to our name. When the board is hopping ( like it probably is now, since it's only 2 hours to McDreamy AND McSteamy and all those fabulous one liners) you won't notice if you were posting on thread 557 or 558 and if some nube messes things up you could be posting all by yourself in a totally different land. We call that Lost SeriouslyJan always has this happen to her. We say Jan is "Lost in the old thread again" and send someone to go find her.

I clicked off the other tab where I was waiting for the board to load in my Wiki-Zeal. OMG there is Jan now on Windows Live Messenger - I'm going to go see what she has to input into this post. Oh Jan got kicked off. That happens to her a lot too. The MB finally loaded and I have been off it so long I don't even remember who it was they called "McBadAss" in still pics for episode 5.06. Is that even tonight? Or are these girls, as always, famously ahead of themselves? I used to know everything that was going to happen on Greys before it did, and had usually watched the best bits of the epi (episode) in clips. I mean, what happens on Greys might be brain surgery, but figuring out what is going to happen on Greys? Not so much. Especially since we all paid in for Sides which are released bits of epi that are one time characters that need to be auditioned for, so these people that don't get the role or interns have access to these scenes and sell them to the people who just can't get enough. Names are always changed for the recurring characters, but like I said before, it's no Neurosurgery... Or even Cardio-Thorassic. Because it's an ABC.com MB, the girls had to start a second site to talk about the sides because ABC is so not cool with that... In fact I think it's a bit illegal. (It wasn't me- I don't even have access to that site anymore, I swear~!)

here is a link to the general board on the ABC MB HERE

The last post is supposedly today, 11:10 pm. HUH? I don't know what time zones those weirdos are operating in at all, but it's about time to get ready for this meeting. BBL McReaders!!

Why My Gay Friends Rock

2008-10-14T18:04:00.000-07:00

This post is entirely inspired by White Dade. If you haven't read his blog yet, it's a must. Stop.reading.this.now.and.go.to.my.blogroll.

1. They don't hate me because of my tits, nor do they stare at them longingly when they think I'm not looking.

2. No one is ever going to accuse me of using them for anything.

3. They never judge you when you tell them about your sordid nights.

4. When they tell you look hot, girlfriend, they actually mean it.

5. They pretend to be straight for you when strange old men come up behind you at bars and try to grind with you.

6. They pick you up and take you to job interviews and it's not because of the possibility of getting laid, ever, unless it's by your hairdresser.

7. They have the best pot.

8. They tell you that you're hot enough to fuck even as a gay men ( Hansel I heart your forever for that one)

9. They never, ever, cockblock. If anything they cock-encourage.

10. They pick you up at 9 pm on a Tuesday because you are lonely and have no car and they can hear "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" in the background on the phone and it makes them incredibly nervous.

11. They destroyed that dirty video you made with them in the eighth grade because it didn't do anything for them. Even if their Dad still refers to you as "the dancer".

12. They can tell you "this shoe or that shoe" and you know it's not jealous sabatoge.

13. You've been borrowing clothes from them forever... why stop now?

14. They still pay when you go out with them.

15. They have amazing coffee table books; most notably The Big Penis Book... An absolute MUST SEE!

16. They like the same music. Fine I'll admit it. They like better music.

17. Eighties music doesn't make them run screaming.

18. They are much better huggers than women OR straight men you aren't interested in sleeping with.

19. You know when you're on the brink of a serious "I am invincible" spinout you can go out with them to a gay club and while you might get so drunk you urinate in your true religions and have to get driven home, sodden, by lesbians after losing them and falling on the dance floor fifty times, that at least you'll wake up not pregnant or with a disease.... at least pregnancy can always be gotten rid of... the herp is forever....and they will be there when you arrive shamefacedly to collect your car from valet the next morning and even invite you to the beach...

20. EYE CANDY.. there are a lot of hot gay men around here ladies.... and they don't mind if you look...

21. You can run around with your twins free as birds all day on their block of the beach and nobody will care except your clothes, who will appreciate your glorious lack of tan lines.

22. They always call when they say they will.

23. They always show up when they say they will.

24. They can appreciate the Adonis-like good looks of Jensen Ackles.
'
25. Because they swear the wallpaper on their IPhone is a picture of you and them, and not a picture of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon.

26. Because they are at the door right now, all the way from Brickell.

Something I've Never Done Before

2008-10-14T16:19:00.000-07:00

Is post lyrics to a song I didn't rewrite, but the actual lyrics of the artist. This song was my anthem during some dark times a year ago and it is my theme song again during the current situation... And so I post.

"Keep Breathing" By Ingrid Michaelson

The storm is coming but I don't mind.
People are dying, I close my blinds.

All that i know is I'm breathing now.

I want to change the world...instead I sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.

But all that I know is I'm breathing.
All i can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

All that I know is I'm breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

I've Always Depended on the Kindness of Strangers

2008-10-14T15:41:00.001-07:00

Rather than wait around for Hidden City to get out of work to drive me to publix, I walked. I walked to the library, returned Kitchen Confidential and checked out the incredibly apropros How Did I Get Here? by Barbara De Angelis. Then I walked to the bank to deposit a check so I can pay my electric bill before they shut me off. Of course I was 1 minute late so I had to deposit it in the ATM and wait till tomorrow to get the cash out to pay it but FPL is still powering things for now. Then I walked all the way to 90th and Biscayne to go to Publix. I live very close to Barry University to give you an approximation of distance. I got dog food and the ingredients to make chicken marsala, stuffed most of it in my Herve Chapelier bag I normally reserve for days on the beach, and slung a plastic publix bag over my shoulder as I began the trek home. I was at 103rd and 6th avenue when I felt like I must just sit and rest. But I kept walking. This isn't the gym, and I wasn't on a treadmill. This was life and I needed to get the fuck home and feed my dogs. I kept walking. Then, even though the end was roughly in sight, about 7 more blocks or so, the plastic bag was ripping something awful into my arm, sweat was rolling down my cleavage, and my tits kept trying to bounce themselves free of my bra and my hindsight-is-20/20-a-little-too-low-cut-for-walking-far shirt. They were pulling the same game on the way there but at least then I had hands to tuck them back in. A car pulled up next to me with an elderly woman inside. She had a strong accent that strangely enough was not Latin, but something like Polish or Russian, something that comforted me. She asked me if I needed a ride. I greatfully accepted. Violet lives right around the corner from where she picked me up, but said this to me that still gives me the chills remembering. "I see you and I am reminded of my friend. I don't know why but you just like her. I think if my friend walking with groceries and I think I must help."

Violet, thank you. You will never know how much that small act of kindness meant to me. I encourage you all to try being kind to strangers. The pureness of the act creates some sort of tap into the universal energy source for both giver and recipient. In unenlightened terms, it's a win-win....

My Blogger, Myself

2008-10-14T11:57:00.000-07:00

I finally let myself cry. And it felt better than a xanax, than a bottle of wine, than getting off (ok,that's pushing it)...I let myself cry for five minutes and in that five minutes I realized that I'm never going to be on the streets, and I'm not going to die. And now I have decided to walk the 15 blocks to the bank and maybe the ten blocks further from there to publix. We will see how this little experiment turns out. I still cannot digest the idea of the bus. Five minutes of release is not going to take care of that just yet. And I do have things to look forward to. Like life. And there will be sunshine in bohopoetland again. And maybe, just maybe it will be better than it ever was before.

All By Myself, Part Two

2008-10-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

Which brings us to Jesse. Jesse was the first guy I could ever talk to about poetry. He was an incredibly gifted poet, and while I would spout my dreams of being the next Maya Angelou, he wanted nothing more than to teach the literature he loved so much. I learned so much from him, but as the school year came to a close, we had the whole, where is this whole thing going anyway? talk and that was that with that. I moved home for the summer and few weeks found my friend Tim and I drunk and on xanax and in my bed. That lasted ten months, despite the fact he went to college in Baltimore, and despite the fact that because he was friends with Greg, he was constantly paranoid I would cheat on him. Ironically enough, I never did.

I dumped Tim in the spring and became so out of control it soon became imperative I get a boyfriend. This was the time period where I lost track of my "Number" and I still to this day am not quite sure what it is. Soon I found one, two actually; Cocaine and Colin. This lasted until one very nasty spring weekend senior year. The assholes at the college newspaper still have it in their online archives, and if you know my maiden name, I'm sure you've already read it.

I managed to get rid of Colin. But not my other lover. At this point it makes sense to mention that once when I was in Baltimore visiting Tim, a psychic on the street grabbed my hand and said, "This guy is not your soulmate, you will meet your soulmate in two years. This would be the March after I graduated college. I was still not quite done with my other lover and my life was pretty much unmanageable....The few months before I met Richy I wandered around like that duck in the childrens book... 'Are you my soulmate?"

Then I met Richy. He rescued me from everything....but I never really learned my lesson.

Which brings us to the now. The now that is too painful, too fresh, and too risky to discuss on the innnernets....

I end this post the way I began it. Alone, full of fear and anxiety. But as it was written in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior "We are here and it is now. Beyond that, all human knowledge is moonshine."

Shine on my darling readers. Thanks for being here, reinforcing the fact that my writing is the one thing no one can ever take away from me, and that no Lexus, Louis Bag, or $600 dinner could ever take the place of.

Still, Blue Moon Over My Mothers House just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Stop the World! I Want to Get Off!!!!

2008-10-14T09:41:00.000-07:00

So, I'm going out of my mind. But the bitch keeps finding me. No car, no income, no husband, and I just ran out of dog food. The thought of taking the bus to publix fills my Gucci and Barton G's accustomed little heart with an anxiety so deep there is absolutely no where for it to go. Perhaps I'll start pacing around the pool again. That was a fun few hours yesterday. Or perhaps I'll continue to work on my sordid personal history....At least one thing is still free... And the jets in the pool are working just fine....

The Great Schlep

2008-10-07T07:32:00.000-07:00

Hello Miami Obama Voting Jews!!!

Read this email from The Great Schlep and then join us this weekend!!!!

Hello Schleppers,

It's not too late to book your flight, bus, or carpool to Florida!

Many of you have told us you want to go to Florida but you do not have relatives there...Well we just found a perfect opportunity for everyone (with and without relatives in Florida)...

The Obama campaign is having their own Jewish outreach training this Friday (10.10) in Delray Beach. Schleppers and non-Schleppers are invited. Tell you friends and family in Florida (Miami-to-West Palm etc.) to attend:

http://my.barackobama.com/page/event/detail/gshwrb

We are not coordinating with the campaign - but this is a great way to get trained in the ways of Obama and do critical Jewish outreach in Florida (door-knocking, phone banks, etc.).

So whether or not you have Jewish relatives in Florida - this is an amazing opportunity to make magic happen.

***Schleppers coming this weekend..stay tuned for Boca party details and more...

Questions: Sara@jewsvote.org

A Question for my Readers

2008-10-06T15:18:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Please tell me, what happens when people stop rescuing you?? I mean, when you find yourself in a mess of mainly your own making, and there's no one to ask for help anymore, no one that wants to, no one that can... What do you do then? I could use some answers. I know all the right words to say to myself: I should say, "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger," I could say, "It's time to grow up," I could say, "Pull yourself out of this," or "Stand on your own two feet." But all those words sounds as hallow to me as they must to you. Nico, we are so not in Kansas anymore...

Closing the chapter on one hell of a week

2008-10-05T13:44:00.001-07:00

I apologize for any typos I haven't caught, but my brain is not functioning efficiently at the moment. Here's evidence:

Detail of the front

Hey there Blogosphere-

I don't know about you all, but I've had the craziest week ever.

Manic Monday, Terrible Tuesday, Weary Wednesday, and So On...

Started work Monday, smashing all my delusions of it being a grand old time...Tuesday I found out my Grandmother died, and decided to miss her funeral. Wednesday I had my second day of work and it was trying....Thursday all I thought about all day was the fact I missed her funeral and felt guilty, guilty, guilty. This was my Catholic guilt, since it was my Irish Catholic Grandma. Although my Jewish guilt did show up to say, "Oy Vey Gevault! How could you do this to your poor mother, shmuckelah??"

Weekend

The weekend was promising until it wasn't. A fabulous (as always) hair cut @Shampology Salon & Supply (click on name to go to site) by my good friend Danny Dillon, who I'm trying to convince to go on the next season of Shear Genius since he is a hair G*D, car washed and takeout from Macaluso's. It was a wonderful day and evening ,the kind where you feel the excitement of being a teenager again just over life in general and laugh so hard your face hurts the next day. It was perfect - right up until I hydroplaned at 70 on the causeway, accelerating to get over a lane to get on 95N. 3 brain-scrambling BANGs against the guardrails (and my steering wheel) later, and I miraculously regained control of the car, got on 95, and drove home in a complete state of shock.

SO This is Why I Pay Geico Every Month

Thank g*d since I have a lease I have collision, but my deductible is still way high. I called out of work Saturday night because I couldn't think straight, and my head, my neck, my back and all a that was in major agony. I have a lovely bump and bruise trailing down the right side of my face. An example of my scrambled brain - I sat for ten minutes thinking the word "Flywich" in my head yesterday wondering why it didn't sound right... Then I realized it wasn't right because the word I was looking for was "Sandwich"... And then today I was sitting in the passenger seat of a car and looking at some stains on the speaker, wondering how they got there. Just for the record, I was not in my car at all! Y

Today, my head still hurts like it's being sat on by the elephant man and my body feels worse. My father is freaking out about my facebook page AGAIN. And even I don't have the chutzpah to ask my parents for money for a rental car, especially not after all they have done for me lately... I'll have to take the bus *Shudders* in to work and get a ride home. I showed up at work to make sure I have a job. It appears I still do, so I am greatful for that.

Finding the Positive

Now I'm finding all the things to be thankful for, all the things that didn't happen. I could have had a terrible evening instead of a great one and then crashed my car. I could have hit someone, killed someone, or caused a 5 car pile-up. I could have gone straight into the bay, flipped my car, been disfigured, lost a limb, or died. *Shudders again*... Okay, maybe the losing the limb thing would probably only happen if I was on a motorcycle, which I would never, ever do, especially not at night in the rain on a causeway.. Grow up in a family of personal injury lawyers and see those "Exhibit A" photos and you won't ever want to go on one either.

Anyway, I am thankful for cheeseburger sliders, french fries, and new "Desperate Housewives" on tonight. I am thankful for not being one anymore.....I am thankful for a new "Brothers and Sisters", and "Entourage" (LOVE Adrian Grenier)
...And tomorrow is Monday which means "Gossip Girl," the very best junk food for my soul ever!!

I am thankful that I never sleep alone, but with Lucky curled up at my feet and Nico cuddled into my stomach. I am thankful that I never, ever have to be at work by 9. I am thankful for bubble baths, good conversation, new friends, swimming pools, and quiet neighborhoods...I am thankful for shoes that haven't been chewed by a puppy......And most of all, for friends and family who stick by you when shit gets complicated...

"BohoPoetGirl: This Shit Actually is Complicated" I think would blow away Denise Richards, Brooke Knows Best, and the Two Corey combined. Actually, The Lucky and Nico Show is far more entertaining than either of those awful masturbatory "shows"..

I'm thankful for Juicy Couture Velour sweats....and tank tops from Banana Republic....Matzoh Ball Soup, an entire afternoon spent in the kitchen and chocolate chip bagels with full fat cream cheese. With Yom Kippur coming up in a few days G*d knows I have plenty to atone for. I wish you all a wonderful Sunday night. And welcome to the blogroll, White Dade.

Hello Friends!

2008-09-27T07:52:00.001-07:00

It's been quite the eventful month over here in Bohopoetland.. Irony has reigned supreme since I last signed off, and while some of you may know some of the details, most of you must not hold your breath, as these things that are going on are deeply personal. I can only ask you all to please keep me in your thoughts as I go through some major changes. I promised to come back a few days ago, but despite the fact that I watched the Greys Anatomy 2 hour season premiere and it was fantastic, the spell of it has somehow broken... Watching was not the escape from the boredom of life as it used to be.... As I step back into being a productive member of society and out of my guilded cage I am forced to admit that real life is far more interesting than the medical case of the week and whether or not Meredith finally has Derek move in with her.... These are just characters, characters on tv that are not my friends, and that I do not know beyond the glare of the plasma... I will never stop watching Greys, and I highly doubt I will ever stop loving the DVR with a passion... But however, there's something going on outside my windows now, and while I suspect it has always been there, it's call resonates so much more strongly through me now, more than ever....

Season Finale: A Photo Essay ( With Captions!)

2008-08-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

I have just arrived home from my 2 week trip to Connecticut and Mass. The weather was amazing and spending time with my family and very best friends is always priceless. I only have one thing to say about the wedding : OVER!

Without further digression;

Lydia of EllipsisAmpersandAsterisk
with her adorable Eski-Poo, Audrey. Lydia, who I've been friends with since I was 15, showed me what's going on in the Hartford, CT scene on more than one night but the best part of it all was afterhours at her apt with wine, Audrey Hepburn on the TV,little Audrey on the couch, and Andy Capp's Hot Fries.

The beautiful Hermione, the kitten my mother bought me when I graduated college who tried to blind Reigna on multiple occasions after I moved in with Richy. She now lives a happy and dog-free life with my sister in Newington, CT.

My sisters bachelorette party which I threw at her house.

The mural Richy painted back in 2003 at our old friend Jack's club the Enchanted Garden, at 88 Pratt St in Hartford. The club has changed owners and names many times since then but this huge airbrushed portrait of Dali remains.

West Beach, Westbrook, CT. I have lived in many states and towns in the last five years, but this one place I have lived every summer of my life. My mother now lives here full time. I took a drive the morning after the bachelorette to do some thinking, and got a few beautiful shots of this quaint beach town.

The view from the car of the houses lining the beach road.

The town beach from the huge concrete and stone jetty.

The view off the other side of the jetty.

On a clear day, you can see...... Long Island.

The jetty itself, from the middle.

The friendly staff at the Penny Lane Pub in Old Saybrook, CT. I escaped the family on a Sunday afternoon for Nachos and Pinot Noir. I also had my rehearsal dinner here back on May 4, 2006.
I had a fabulous time with my family, but they own half the street in Westbrook that my mom's house is on and cousins and their children were overflowing out of my Grandma's turned Aunt's house and I needed some ME time.

Bohopoetgirl, you're not in South Beach anymore: Connecticut's take on sky advertising.

My cousin's daughter Bel, who my whole family is obsessed with saying is a Mini Me. I don't know if the world is ready for that!

A day at the beach.

The view from my smoking spot. Also, Extreme Home Makeover: Lynne Ave Edition.

The view from my aunt's new rooftop deck

My very favorite beer, Magic Hat #9, crafted in Burlington, VT, and sold no closer to South Fla than Savannah, GA

Connecticut Postcards

Magic Hat's Summer Variety Show, including Summer 08 (a delicious malty nut brown ale,)Hocus Pocus, a light citrus infused take of number #9, Circus Boy, a hefeweizen that tastes delicious with an orange wedge, and of course, the award winning apricot infused #9. A must have for any New England summer cookout ( we don't BBQ in CT, btw... We cook out)

Bridget, who has been around since I was 14.. and has lived to tell the tale! Bridget used to sneak out my basement window every time I did... Only she would get me caught running around my mom's comforter with dirty paws!

This is what Bridget enjoys doing with my hair elastics... 13 years and it still cracks me up every time I find one in her food bowl.. I mean, why the food bowl Bridge? why?

This is Lily, Hermione's "big boned" sister. Lily has a boyfriend, a grey stray chubby chaser we named Billy Joel ( he's looking for an uptown girl). When he sprayed the door, Lily somehow snuck out about ten times in an hour... Ohh young love..

The cute and well behaved Rotty, Madeleine. She lives in a Miami comes to Hartford upscale loft in an old tire factory called the Design Space. Maddie belongs to my good friend Shana, the owner of Mariel The Shoe Bar. You should see her personal collection of shoes! Shana has always had amazing fashion sense, even when we were 11. I can't go in her store without buying a pair, and now she has 2 stores! Don't worry, So Fla, according to Shana (her nickname), we should be able to buy online soon! Click HERE to go to her website.

And her super cool logo

Sauce for 14... Made with all fresh tomatoes from my aunt's garden. Not a drop remained, even though 4 of the 14 were children!

The B.O.A.T Sandwich at Saybrook Point Inn and Spa (Thick cut locally cured Bacon, Kalamata Olive Tapenade, Arugula and Heirloom Tomatoes, on charred peasant bread. My sister and I got Mani Pedi's here the day before her wedding, and I got married here myself May 5, 2006. Since I hadn't been here since, I came up here for my own personal moment one night days before to ensure that I didn't say a word about my own wedding when we were there.

Look Mom! No Make-up! The limo ride to the wedding. Bridesmaid on my left, my littlest sis and youtube phenom/blogger extraordinaire Lianna J on my right.(click on her name to go to her blog)

Attack of Bridezilla!!!!

My hair for the wedding, which was required to be professionally done and up and was not allowed to have anything in it but a few overpriced pearl screws. I had my hairdesser make a headband out of my own hair and screwed the pearls in it. I got my inspiration from pic from an upcoming epi of Gossip Girl, on Serena, natch.

I'd already photographed every other pet I saw on my trip, so I saw no reason to leave little Abby, my bff Jessica's grey cat out of the essay. This is her window.

And Sampson, who, like a true Siamese, never quits his bitching but I love him anyway.

The Agility Champion of SNEAK (Southern New England Agility something) whose eagerness to please, dedication of his owner (Jessica), and little, little legs have won him numerous trophies and ribbons.

Jessica holds a ten week old Yorkie puppy at our cookout: His name is Mickey, and he is so fine....

And finally, full moon over Worcestor, MA... AKA Midnight the cat at Midnight...

But there's nothing like coming home to your very own babies!

Hiatus Addendum

2008-08-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

Note: The Grey's Anatomy season premiere is not until September 25, so I am considering taking leave until then. When I return to Miami next week, I will be posting a photo essay of my time in Connecticut and Mass. Until then, check out some of my favorite blogs.

Click on the name to go to the site.

David Dust
A Mom, a Blog, and the Life In -Between
Sex and the Beach
Farmgirl Fare

And my newest favorite, which I read until 3 am the other day

Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds

The Episode Before The Season Finale

2008-08-15T13:10:00.000-07:00

If this blog was a television show, it would be one that didn't find itself until season two.

Above is a picture from my bachelorette party I found on Anna's computer while gearing up for my sister's fiesta tomorrow. I'm in the middle.

I plan on taking a month hiatus to gear up for "Blue Moon Over Miami: Season Two".
I am new to blogging and as my Anna so gently pointed out, sometimes my blog is like talking to me on the phone rather than reading my more creative and interesting stuff. I am taking this break until the day before the Grey's Anatomy season premiere, which would be September 24. I will be blogging during this time, but into word. The stream of consciousness "I played with the dogs, got annoyed with something, and went to the grocery store" blogging is not what I set out to accomplish when I began this thing. I will be reading blogs and blogs about blogging and blogs about the things I blog as much as possible.

I do plan on one more post before I break. I want to think about it and make it good though, as any season finale should be. And to be a taste of what's to come.

If anyone needs to talk to me during my hiatus, you can always send an email to bohopoetgirl@gmail.com

It's a beautiful day in the Emailhood...

2008-08-14T10:15:00.000-07:00

Well pull my finger and call me Charlie! I just got another exciting email, posted below, from my favorite brewing company in the universe.

Hi, BohoPoetGirl.

Magic Hat Brewing Co (magichat) is now following your updates on Twitter.

Check out Magic Hat Brewing Co's profile here:

http://twitter.com/magichat

You may follow Magic Hat Brewing Co as well by clicking on the "follow" button.

Best,
Twitter

YAY

2008-08-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

(the short version)

Dear Bohopoetgirl( this is my edit)

Thanks for submitting your great poem "I Was Born In Sedona". We thought this was a wonderful write.

We have updated shelf 4 of our submitted poetry section along with August's Poetry dances section and have added you as a favorite writer for August.

Many thanks again-
and welcome to Poetry dances.com!

We look forward to hearing from you.

Anthony French

My Note: And there goes the anonymity. That lasted about as long as I watched Denise Richards:It's (not really) Complicated

Conjunction Junction, What's Your Dysfunction??

2008-08-12T15:13:00.000-07:00

Man I am sure having a minor meltdown over here over the Things That Might Go Wrong over the next 12 days. I can't find my copy of R's credit card with my name on it that I rented my car in.. I can't find my amex, the only other card I haven't cut up in my overzealous attempts to stop living above our immediate means. They don't accept a debit card to hold it, they don't accept someone else's card, cash is useless. Oy vey gevault! My name is on the credit card account but I don't know if that's gonna fly in Boston... OMG what if I get stuck in Boston and I don't even have my laptop because my idiot ass never bought a proper laptop case... OMG... My stomach feels funky and I am so very anxiety ridden. I have been working on my maid of honor speech.... in my head... On paper, I've got zilch. At least I brought my flash drive. It's the next best thing to having my own puter I suppose. Wishing I had an Iphone and being jealous of R, esp because he doesn't even know how to use the internet... Maybe I should be looking for my copy of that credit card instead of blogging about how stressed I am?? That's a thought....

Waiting For The Sun

2008-08-12T10:20:00.000-07:00

Of course I had to wait until my absolute last day in Miami to try to tan, and of course I had to spend the sunny morning on the internet, packing, and cleaning. By the time I was ready to tan the sun was doing this in and out thing that made me feel like it was literally fucking me. Thankfully I came into the garage before it started spitting down. It now looks like a hurricane, and Samstyl's flight to VT via NY was CANCELLED this AM, and I am scheduled to fly out tomorrow, same airport, same airline, to Boston which last time I checked was not all that far from NY. My flight tracker claims we are still on time for departure tomorrow morning, but I don't believe it! I don't even like to drive in the rain, and although I've been flying many many times a year since birth, I still am uneasy about flying ( especially landing) in the rain.

In other news, I found my favorite camp counselor and the only other person in the universe I have found worthy to share my nickname on Facebook. It gave me the chills, seeing these girls who seemed so much older and more worldly when I was 8-14 and now I realize are only 4 years older than me which is pretty much nada at this point. I still have not been back to camp since I got kicked out the night of the play (Wizard of Oz, in which I had a plum role as Uncle Henry) which was a week before my senior year ended, taking the fall for doing the same things all my friends were doing and also the fall for every other thing that had gone wrong all summer. Soda tabs in the vending machine? Must have been me.. Laundry ladies smoking pot in star camp? Must have been me. I'm getting all upset reliving it here but it's also kind of an escape into the Things That Went Wrong And You Can't Change a Damn Thing About It. from my more pressing and immediate anxieties, The Things That Haven't Actually Gone Wrong Yet But Still Could.

Any secret, moses code or celestine prophecy reader would tell me right now, no Bohopoetgirl, the sun is not fucking you. The universe is not fucking you.

You are fucking yourself.

That's what she said.

I'm off to scan some old camp photos into the computer. :)

My Daily Peeve

2008-08-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

The guy on the Liberty Medical commercial ( you will never have seen this unless you have a tv on during the day) who insists on calling Diabetes, Dya-beat-ehs. The cherry is that he says it like five times during the 45 second spot. ARGGGHHH!

Weird Song by Tim Hawkins

2008-08-11T19:08:00.000-07:00

What Are You Doing??

2008-08-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

I highly suggest you catch Kerri Walsh and Misty May kick Cuba's ARSE in Beach Volleyball. Especially poignant for us South Floridians. Misty has brought some of her mother's ashes to sprinkle if and when they get gold again. It has me thinking of color war at summer camp and how this is just like that on a worldwide domination level... Oh yeah! Match point! And there it is! The US blows Cuba away in 26 minutes!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Score

21-15
21-16

USA!!

This is their 103rd straight win! Rock on girls!

* Photo courtesy of the Tai Pei Times. Seriously.

The Mystery of The Cushion Mushin

2008-08-11T10:00:00.001-07:00

For those of you who haven't heard me wax poetic about my Pottery Barn sectional, it was the biggest purchase I have ever made with money I made myself. Okay, that money was the commission I earned by being my own agent when I bought my current home, but still, it made the lousy year and a half I spent in Real Estate more worth it than the oft promised rarely delivered bonuses I got selling the Queen's condo's for him when I was his and the Fag Hag's assistant. It is huge, filling up my entire living room, and I even sprung for the ottoman, the down filling, and the matching rug. Sometimes we forget how much couch room we now have and you may find Richy, Me, Reigna, Lucky, and Nico all curled up one side of the couch as if it was the entire thing.
Fast forward to the mystery of the wet spots, as I blogged a few weeks ago, that was Lucky doing some overenthusiastic licking. Now I am starting to notice how mushed a few of my cushions are becoming, and since Lucky has gotten a bit fat for his size lately, I suspect him. Here's a pic of my mushed cushion

I've tucked a fleece dog blanket into the next section of the couch for my shedders, but of course the only one who hangs out there is Nico, the one who doesn't shed. Oy Vey. it didn't take me very long to catch the musher in the act, as represented here. Nobody will be surprised to learn who it is:

Right now it is pouring mushers and shedders outside!! Also, if anyone would like to comment on how I can make my food stealing Lucky lose weight, you will see above his head is rapidly shrinking....And that cushion is not exactly a piece of fluff....

Criminals in Your Neighborhood and Mine

2008-08-08T10:43:00.000-07:00

I had forgotten the link to that awesome site that shows you all the criminals in your neighborhood until my amazing friend Jess resent it to me yesterday. It is Felonspy.com

I haven't used it since I lived in SoBe so I was excited to learn Miami Shores is scarce on criminals, but to my North there are two sex offenders, and to my west are three young stalkers. Due south of me is a robber. YAY.

It's on days like this I am thankful to have a 96 lb German Shepherd, a 20 pound jumping barking biting Min Pin that scares some people more than the shepherd , and ADT. Oh and a husband from Queens.

Every little bit helps.

All About My Sister's Wedding

2008-08-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

That would be a great Jeopordy before and after answer, I say! I'm sitting in my garage chain smoking and drinking regular coke from a can as I bawl my eyes out like a little girl. My little sister is getting married, and it's to the most amazing guy for her I could have ever dreamt up. Because I was 3 and a half when she was born, and my photographic memory that somehow made it through my college experiment to see how many brain cells I really needed, I remember everything. Her first step, the way my mom would set her up at the beach on a towel with a family size bag of jax and a sippy cup of sprite and the kid was in heaven. I remember her first step in our first house in Ellington, how she grabbed for the coffee table, with my mother and I cheering her on, pulled herself up with the most heart-melting smile and started tottering across the room.
I remember when she started dating.. How none of them ever really got her, really understood how amazing and big hearted and unique she is. Until she met Rico. The two of them were instantly inseparable, their first song w as that one by lighthouse that goes, "And there's you and me, and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose and there's you and me, and all of the people and I don't know why, I can't take my eyes off of you.."And when I met him, I was so greatful that they had found each other. Because life is so much better with true love in it. I remember how quickly they knew they wanted to marry each other. And here we are 3 years later 2 weeks from what looks to be the best wedding this family has seen since, well, mine. ( Sorry, I'm not known for my modesty) And I'm reading this wedding detail email as I am planning the bachelorette party and when I get to the sentence the limo is coming back to take Ricardo and me home I just totally lost it, I couldn't imagine 2 people who deserve the happiness they have found together more. I'm happy to see my sister get married, I am beyond thrilled to see my sister get married to someone that is so right for her and loves her so much. I am still bawling my eyes out by the way, so I'm going to have to end this here, as I'm having a hard time typing.

Quote of the Day

2008-07-31T15:14:00.001-07:00

"There is nothing more uncommon than common sense"

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Amen to that!

My 100th Post...

2008-07-31T14:01:00.000-07:00

Because you've always wanted to whack a penis with a broom handle, and so have I, I have ordered the following for my sister's bachelorette mini fiesta ( alas the party girl's little sis wants a quiet night in with less than ten people)

I love this pic, down to the black hairy balls, so I have decided it 100th post worthy. Let you know how the whacking goes down on August 16th.

Crap! I deleted posts and now this is no longer #100

2008-07-31T11:03:00.000-07:00

And I am saving something oh so special for that. So for this I guess I'll just tell you all the morning news that's not fit to print over here in Miami Whores. Nico and Lucky are trying to rip each other's heads off, I am procrastinating going to Costco and Party City, and R is at work. Reigna is in the shower. Lol. I leave to go back to CT in 12 days! Yeehaw! I can't wait to get out of this miserable Miami heat! I am starting to get excited for my sisters wedding. There will be so many parties and I get to eat and drink and not have it be my wedding at all of them! YAY! The bachelorette party is shaping up really nicely, and the wedding itself should be spectacular. I would expect no less from my perfectionist sister. I am so hungry right now, all I can think about is the food at each event. I must get off my freshly showered arse and go to the store right now!

Randy Pauch - You get my 99th Post- I heart you!

2008-07-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

Randy Pauch, the amazingly inspiring youtube sensation and Carnegie Mellon professor who wrote and gave "The Last Lecture" crossed over to the other side of things today. Good Luck Randy! I would say may the force be with you, but it's clear it already is. Much sympathy to his wife and children who will not get to see him for a while.... I can't imagine losing a man like that... But then again, to have a man like that in your life, as a father, in your blood... That would be pretty freaking amazing.... He lived for over 2 years with a cancer that kills most within a month or two... I attribute that wholly to his rockin' attitude... Randy, you inspired and continue to inspire me to write and be who I am...You will always rock!

My fav Randy Pauch quote " The walls are not there to keep you from getting what you want. The walls are there for the other people - the ones who don't want it bad enough...."

Shear Genius:My Dog Edition Con't

2008-07-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

This morning Reigna got a haircut. Because Nico didn't have too many left and someone in my house was still feeling pretty scissor happy... No idea who. And then the clippers came out. Reigna is in heaven because she feels fifty pounds lighter (and probably is) but she looks a mess. Who the hell put all those holes in her fur? And who cut Nico's whiskers off while I'm at it and gave him two near bald spots? I think it was Snarky Charlie. He snuck in my house and rocked those clippers......
I also solved a huge mystery of the dog kind, which was "Who is making these wet spots on the couch and why?" It's Lucky and it's because he is enthusiastically licking his A hole all over my pottery barn...
.The rest of this blog is a photo essay because a picture is worth a thousand haircut descriptions.....

Is it just me, or is She EVERYWHERE???

2008-07-25T05:51:00.000-07:00

Shopping in the mall, browsing the web, watching the Today Show, reading USWeekly in bed, reading Vanity Fair AT ALL ... These used to be a few of my favorite things... Until Smiley Papyrus came along. Tuck your teef back in Smiley! Stop jumping around in the Limited Too!!! I can't even listen to the radio anymore in fear of hearing that awful commercial for the open casting call for some talent scout who scouted Girl 4 or something for Hannah Montana. "Do your kids love Hannah Montana? Would they like to be on a show just like Hannah Montana? Do you wish you had some money like Hannah Montana??" OMG shut it off. Smiley Papyrus is everywhere and I can't stop it. Not that it's her fault. But seriously. Tuck your teef back in. OH god are you complaining Smiley about how much sleep you got last night? Because last time I checked at 15 you can go a few days without stopping for fuel. Smiley sounds pretty old before her time. I better finish this blog before I start feeling bad for old Smiley. Oh god end of commercial break and Smiley is urging me to be happy, be happy, be happy, for her.... Tks Smiley now I no longer feel bad for you. And your backup dancers are superfreaks! Was thinking about posting the topless pic of old Smiley

"She's bringing backless back..."
Those other preteens don't know how to act
by the time she's 16 she'll be smoking crack.

What? Take it to the Mouse....."

OMG Mileyworld!!!

Grilled Cheese Sandwich Recipe (And Soup Accoutrement)

2008-07-25T05:25:00.001-07:00

Shopping list
butter
bread
velveeta
oregano
plum tomato
peppermill blend ( yes, I put this in Everything)
Campbell's tomato soup
Milk

Make soup per instructions but add a can of milk instead of water and plenty of fresh ground pepper. Voila - creamy tomato!

To make sandwich, melt a few pats of butter on a microwave safe plate while preheating frying pan to medium low. Deseed and thinly slice tomato. Slice the velveeta thinly if you can, if not NBD, it's pretty malleable. Soak up the butter on the plate with a slice of bread, place in pan, add cheese, a sprinkling of oregano and pepper, and some tomato before soaking a second piece of bread with butter and slapping that on top. Press down a bit with your spatula on your sandwich and check often to make sure you don't burn it, as it should only take a few minutes per side.

Cheap and easy just like the powerboat club girls but way more satisfying.

Good Morning Miami

2008-07-25T04:48:00.000-07:00

It's on morning's like this that I really feel the full effect of some of the priveledges my life (and husband) provides me. I love when I wake up before he goes to work and we have that 45 minutes to hang out and talk, smoke and watch the dogs run (and potty) in the yard. Those moments make me smile all day. Then he leaves and I'm all up and Twittering and watching the Today show and a little voice inside of me is all "Don't you want to go back to sleep?" and that's the beauty of it. Because I always can later.
Someone snuck in and gave Nico the crappiest haircut ever when I was sleeping. Oh no, that was me. It's really not that bad but a little more light and a little less bacardi would have gone a long way. He's still not ready for his close up. Is this terrible that I am seriously considering asking Alicia, my buddy Danny of Shampology Salon and Supply right hand gal, to fix his hair while I have Danny fix mine? especially because she has little dogs and knows how to handle them.
In other news, I have officially scrapped the summer volunteering at Fairchild. I am still in to assist in the office for the Fairchild Challenge in the fall but the commute, my low tire, the bugs, the heat, the potting, and finally my mysterious possibly mango related rash ( tk god that is going away) just all add up to "I can't possibly go" every week.
And finally, I just got off the phone with my gorgeous husband and it looks like the pink slips are coming down on a few more heads this week. Good riddance to all that slows him ( and our next payday) down. In this economy, it astounds me that some people can't afford gas and some are buying million dollar gas guzzling boats with 60K paint jobs. I guess I'm comparing Orphan Annie to Daddy Warbucks though.
MMMMMmmmm Grilled cheese sandwiches on Today Show. OOOHHH the grilled cheese invitational! Why was I not invited! I have the best grilled cheese recipe EVER! ( To follow) Oh man, I just heard a crowd of people shouting "We want cheese!" Or was that just the voices in my head???

It's All Going to Boil Down to A Few Old Jews

2008-07-24T19:58:00.000-07:00

Watch this hysterical video at right if you have any familiarity with So Fla or Jews

Style of The Day

2008-07-24T18:03:00.000-07:00

I gave Nico a haircut tonight with my J.A. Henckels kitchen shears. If you ask me, my work was Shear Genius. Will post pics tomorrow as I feel lazy (read: buzzed) on this Thursday evening with a long night of fun (read: pina colada making and My fav night of TV ever reruns while R sleeps on couch with hot pack on his hip.) Nico looks smaller now but cuter than ever. He is sleeping from all the excitement. He was getting super scruffy and now I will have to scrounge tomorrow to see if I have any good documentation so like, 3 people can read this. I digress, it's not the time to beat up on the self, especially not after achieving Shear Genius results on my first tiny dog and kitchen shears haircut. Only in this case, I would consider the cut a success just b/c no one got cut. Okay, I think it's time for a self -inflicted blogging restriction. As in, "friends don't let friends blog buzzed."
Goodnight Blogosphere...Goodnight Web...Goodnight Twitter...Goodnight Head...

Have a happy hot and humid Miami evening all!

Fancast.com! YAY for TV fans everywhere

2008-07-24T16:32:00.000-07:00

Guess what everyone? Come in from the pool and power up that laptop because I'm about to share the greatest thing to happen to Summer Television since Reality TV. It's called fancast.com
and while it doesn't have nearly as many shows as ITunes, it's free and doesn't require harddrive clogging downloading like Limewire or any other one of those shmageegies I can't quite figure out. BTW I managed to find some S4 entourage ( which I mostly missed) on Limewire once then couldn't figure out how to watch them. That was the end of that. While Entourage is not on fancast.com yet, I bet it will be soon. Today I watched some Epi's of the Hills, getting ready for the new season in a couple of weeks. G*D was it weird to see pre nose job and pre spencer Heidi. It's like from before she became a Stepford Wife! Seriously. Or just a Stepford Social Climber. And I am also 100% sure Spencer is gay. Who's with me?

Oh Fuhcackduh!

2008-07-23T19:34:00.000-07:00

I just heard that Jen Lancaster was at BlogHer08! How could I have missed a chance to rub elbows with one of my fav authors and inspirations? I digress, clearly it was just not in the cards yet. BlogHer09' girls... I'm on it!

Quote of The Day

2008-07-22T16:37:00.000-07:00

"I'm politically apathetic. We were raised in a time when we never had a leader who was a role model. Every president has gotten worse and worse."
- Gossip Girl Hottie Penn Badgley

NEWS ALERT! Britney does actually have half a brain

2008-07-18T11:16:00.001-07:00

Ms. Shameless gave over full custody of her two children to the lesser of two evils. I expect a big drug and alcohol induced, chotcke baring rebellion coming on.... Come to think of it, last night I saw a thing on E about Courtney Love and minus the dead heroin addict husband, I see her and imagine that will be Brit Brit in a few years....Britney is one of my favorite trainwrecks to watch. Somewhere in the galaxy there is a video of me in full school girl get up singing my weird song version of "Lucky" -"She's so easy, she's a bike and they ride ride ride her through the night..."
Will post the entire song next weird song wednesday

OYE MI POEMA !

2008-07-17T22:09:00.000-07:00

I hate how we artists, so different from the majority, so insecure and yet sure of our own genius, feel the need for disclaimers before presenting a piece of their work.

Backstories however, those are sometimes necessary. This is the first poem I ever published, which somehow came into my head nearly complete, a rare and magical gift for any artist, especially one whose medium is words. It is also the first poem I ever published, my junior year at UConn in the notoriously hard to get into Long River Review. I didn't appreciate the value of this until I worked on the review senior year and watched thousands of poems dismissed, picked apart, and thrown aside until only 39 remained. It is still a bit hard for me to fathom why a couple of poets got more than one spot. Then I was angry, now I just wonder who they were blowing or how much less partying they were doing than me. When I got the letter this poem was published, it was the best feeling I have ever had.. And then of course my delusions of grandeur had me dreaming I was the next Allen Ginsberg, put on this earth to bring poetry away from it's ivory tower of acadamia and back to the masses. But then I remembered. The masses are unable to understand poetry, and that I have never been a fan of the masses. Then my lofty ego decided to submit work to the most exclusive of journals, The Paris Review, etc, got a few rejection letters and buried my head in shame. I need to put myself back out there.
So I'm planning on reading this at the Bohemia Room's Cunnilinguistics night July 23 at Santo on Lincoln Road...Hope I don't talk myself out of it. I find the more I embarass myself and my loved ones, the better my work is... It's scary when the best stories are the ones that might make your family disown you... I'm starting to realize I'll forgive myself much easier for that than for not putting out the work I was put here to do. I'm rusty now, but I can get back to where I was... Someone once said there's nothing worse than wasted talent.... and I'm not getting any younger...

Whew! You still with me?

Here goes, brutally honest 19 year old me:

Naughty Nudie

Walking into high schools
blurred orange morning
I glance down
surprised and ashamed
at my own bare breasts

I have never had that dream

I was born naked
a baby playing in summer sun
naked
shrinking and shrieking
from the confines
of bathing suits and sunscreen

I was the little girl
who told all the neighbors
what happened when
you pulled her Daddy's finger

Who forgot to wear underwear
to a cousins Bar Mitzvah
announcing it as
we pulled into temple
a place where even the hair on my head
should not be naked
my parents laughed at my inanity
the next few hours
I enjoyed the breeze

Naked has been my way
in every sense

On a tipsy adolescent night
two boys dared me
to run naked
from pond to pool
and back

At private school on Monday
I was the slut.

Reputation fails to erase the memory
of the feeling
night wind and bare skin
unencumbered movement
the thud of my entire body
and nothing more
as it met with the earth.

In a summer sundress it is easy
to be naked
even as I sit here now
I am still naked.

Some may wear cloaks
and masks
makeup and jewelry
to show the world
who they think it thinks
they should be.
That's fine with me.

I'll be naked.

Naughty Nudie

Shear Genius- I'm Lovin' It

2008-07-17T08:19:00.001-07:00

I have recently added a new show to my rediculous tv repetoire. See new list in sidebar of how many shows I watch... Tk god for DVR and Itunes TV! Sheer Genius is hysterical, especially due to Charlie and Daniel. I just love them! Charlie's best quote in the last episode, regarding Nekisa, was, "Sorry Honey, big titties can't get you out of everything." LOL that's a lesson I learned the hard way.....I really hope Charlie makes it really far because I heart watching him.

Anatomy of My Hair Extensions

2008-07-16T10:29:00.000-07:00

My amazingly talented friend/stylist extraordinaire Danny Dillon, proprietor of Shampology Salon and all around awesome guy hand cut, dyed, and sewed onto clips the most beautiful locks of hair I have ever seen. The extensions were his brainchild, bridging the gap between super expensive leave in for three month extensions and cheap fake hair clips. His prices are about 1/4 of the price of three month leave in extensions and I've had mine for about 7 months now and haven't even had to wash them yet! Even though I've been growing my hair out the last few months, if he clips the bottom layer super low, it still gives me an extra 2.5 inches and sexy Serena from Gossip Girl volume. This time when I went in to have them put in professionally ( something I dare not attempt on my own because of my Jewish two left handedness, but probably most of you could figure it out.) Danny blew out my now super long hair glass flat first so we could take before and after shots...Shampology is planning a grand fete next month, invite only, so if and only if any of you are in the market for the best hairstylist ever, email Bohopoetgirl@gmail.com

Shampology Salon & Supply Inc.
180 ne 39th St. Suite 216
Miami Fl 33137
305.576.1530

Shampologysalon.com

Quote of the Day

2008-07-16T10:27:00.001-07:00

I see and I remember
I hear and I forget
I do and I understand

-Old Proverb

Concoction of the day - Chicken Cutlets!

2008-07-16T10:05:00.001-07:00

So many different versions of cutlets... We have Cuban Breaded Chicken, German Schnitzel, Southern Fried Chicken..This is my version, which is a version within a version of Italian Chicken Cutlets.

Shopping list

One package (1.5) or skinless boneless chicken breasts
Red pepper flakes
Fresh Italian Parsley
2 eggs
milk
Italian seasoned bread crumbs
Parmigiano Reggiano
Locatelli Romano
light olive oil
meat mallet
freezer bags
freshground pepper
sea salt
lemon

Directions:

Rinse the chicken and pat drycut off fatty, yucky parts
dry with paper towel, place one at a time in freezer bag and pound with glancing blows until 1/2-1/4 inch thick, then cut into smaller pieces. Scramble eggs with a splash of milk. Preheat large skillet with a healthy layer of light olive oil to medium. chop parsley. Place in bowl. Pour generous amount of breadcrumbs in, adding a half cup each of parm and romano. Grind plenty of pepper in and add a pinch of red pepper flakes. Add a small amount of salt. Dip chicken in eggs, then breadcrumbs, then place in skillet. Brown on each side, at least five minutes. As each cutlet becomes ready, drain on paper towel covered plate. Cut lemon and squeeze onto cutlets just before serving.

Weird Song Wednesday

2008-07-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

This is an oldie but goodie I wrote in college, to Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love"

"Addicted to Drugs"

You smoked a bong
but you're not stoned
this pot
must be homegrown
Your in a mood
your hands shake
a glass of wine
is what it takes

You can't sleep ( whoaaa)
You can't eat
No doubt
you're on E
you're gonna try
some OC
another high
is all you need

Whooooaa you like to think that you're immune to this stuff
(Oh Yeah)

Closer to the truth to say you, can't get enough and well you might as well face it you're addicted to drugs

You're cutting lines
of coke I see
you're wigging out
here try some speed
Your heart beats
quadruple time
Ignore it and do one more line

One last line...
You can't be saved
intoxication
all you crave

The crack pipe
is packed for you
And you'd have a chance
if you knew...

Whoooaa you like to think that you're immune to this stuff

(Oh Yeah!)

Closer to the truth to say you, can't get enough and well you might as well face it you're addicted to drugs
Might as well face it you're addicted to drugs
Might as well face it you're addicted to drugs
Might as well face it you're addicted to drugs

Weird Song Wednesday..

2008-07-10T03:04:00.000-07:00

If I am having an insomnia issue, and can't stay asleep, and it's still dark out, is it technically still weds? Better late than never I say!

I wrote this song in response to someone who came on the website I write for, (the one that actually pays me lol) to the tune of “Say it Right” By Nelly Furtado. I hope he comes back to listen to his song!!

“Just Ain’t right”

Sleep All Day
Up All Night
Those on Coke
Just Ain’t Right
Miami’s got it
What city won’t
But you really oughta know
When you go on a website
to ask strangers to find
you, some cocaine
there’s a hole in your plans
( and maybe your nose)

Chorus:
Oh you don’t need blow to have fun in Miami
And the people on this website we like to eat
The sun the beach the attractions are all you need
Do you think that cocaine will set you free?

We could say, where to go
certain clubs, certain roads
we could say, but we won’t
it’s not right, and you know
and you know, how it feels
when your heart pounds all night
and your sweaty, and your gross nose
that was super fun, right?

Chorus

Oh you don’t need blow to have fun in Miami
grab a mojito and chill at Nikki Beach
walk down for a filet at smith and wolensky
if you need a buzz just drink some Cuban coffee
(but you’d rather do coke...)

I don’t need to tell you, you already see
And I hope you don’t come back here, looking for it
And it won’t solve your problems
DO you really, want coke?

Chorus:
Oh you don’t need blow to have fun in Miami
You could just go swimming in our aqua blue seas
Or save your money to do some world class shopping
write back if you need to know where to go eat

oking to score an 8 ball... Online to a bunch of strangers.. It was so beyond inappropriate I had to write a song about it, so here goes

Weird Song Wednesday - An Oldie But Goodie

2008-07-02T08:37:00.000-07:00

This is an older song of mine, sung to the tune of "Rocket Man" by Elton John

I got home real late last nite....
Was 3 or 4 am...
And he should have been paaaasssseeeddd out, in his crate by then..
He runs right up to me, and shakes his ass...
A smile on his face....

On such a fat little man....

Lucky man is gonna rip shit up tonight
He pisses Reigna off they get in fights
He's not the kindof dog you leave to roam
Oh no no no, gotta lock him in....

Lucky man, Little Lucky man and Reigna Girl

South Beach is not the place to have two dogs
Its crowded and hot as hell
And no one wants to walk them, down those stairs

And all the crying, he don't understand
why Mom and Dad always have to leave
Oh Lucky Maaannnn Lucky Man

Lucky Man is going to eat some shoes tonight
He pissed off Reigna and got a bite
He's not the kind of dog I thought I'd own...

Oh no no no... He's a Lucky Man......

Lucky Man is gonna eat some shoes tonight
Lucky Man is gonna crap on the floor tonight
Lucky Man is gonna sleep in bed tonight......

Concoction Monday on Wednesday - Meatballs!

2008-07-02T07:59:00.001-07:00

Last night I made my meatballs, which came out amazing as usual. Again, I'm not the best measurer but I've done my best.

Shopping list

2-3 lbs ground beef
1 large handful Italian breadcrumbs per pound
1 bunch Italian Parsely
1 egg per 1-1.5 pounds
parmigianno reggiano or artisan domestic parmesean
Locatelli romano or pecorino if you can't find Locatelli ( Fresh Market has)
fresh ground pepper
coarse sea salt
crushed red pepper
Olive oil

place beef in large mixing bowl. crack eggs in. add a small handful per pound each of parmesean and romano cheeses. Chop up 1/4 cup per 1.5 pound beef of italian parsley, and add to bowl. Add a tsp of crushed red pepper, more if you like. Add salt and pepper to taste. Preheat a large skillet over medium with a few tablespoons of olive oil. Mix all ingredients together by hand, taking care not to overwork the meat or the meatballs could become tough. Form into small and medium balls, to preference, and overload the pan so that later you can brown each side by propping them up against each other. Make sure to brown on all sides before removing to a paper towel covered plate to drain. Plop a few into your sauce during the last half hour of it's cooking for flavor. Leave the rest to keep the crunchy carmelization of the searing. Link to the post that has my sauce recipe click here

A Facebook Question

2008-07-01T17:47:00.000-07:00

Why does facebook keep suggesting to me to befriend people I have spent my entire life carefully avoiding? I mean, hello, we know the same people and we are not friends yet; recognize that facebook you silly F***k!

Another Puppy Mill Bites the Dust not a moment too soon!

2008-07-01T12:22:00.001-07:00

I'm a big weepy mess right now. I just learned via the Herald that a mini dog puppy mill in Tenn was busted and hundreds of pups and dogs rescued and given their own wing at the Broward County Humane Society. Thanks to the publicity, hundreds lined up to adopt these poor babies, many of whom had never walked on the ground before, relegated to life in a mesh cage, turning out litter after litter... A quote from the Herald story:
" Somehow the breeds of the rescued dogs made the negligence discovered on a rural farm in Lyles, Tenn., seem all the more unfathomable. Most were little guys. Yorkies, Boston terriers, miniature pinschers, poodles, Chihuahuas, Maltese, Shih Tzus, Pomeranians, Shar-Peis, Jack Russell terriers. The very dogs we're used to seeing coddled, anthropomorphized and spoiled like children."

As an owner of a Yorkie hybrid and a Min Pin, I am especially emo right now. Down with puppy mills! It reminds me that I never posted the link to the article I wrote about SPCA Miami's Charity Party at the Versace Mansion for MiamiBeach411.com. Here it is; Versace Article

Quotes of the Day

2008-07-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

"Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing." - Albert Schweitzer

"An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less until he knows everything about nothing." - Dan Millman's Socrates.

"We are here and it is now. Beyond that, all human knowledge is moonshine."

H.L. Mencken

Bar Food Friday -A Lecture and a Let down

2008-07-01T10:51:00.000-07:00

Don't let the title fool you- I had an amazing time on Bar Food Friday. I just didn't have amazing bar food.

I met Manola BBB at the University of Miami's Lowe's Art Museum. A 10$ donation later, and we were listening to a slide accompanied lecture about excavating Egypt. Apparently the study of Egypt, AKA Egyptology, is a fairly new science. Our lecturer spends four months out of his year at Abydos, a dig site located in central Egypt. After the lecture, which was, for lack of a better word, mind blowing, we had a free drink and some appetizers ( most of which were devoured by the time we got through the drink line, which cemented the divide and conquor rule for subsequent events like this one) before perusing the exhibit. It was absolutely amazing to see so much of Petrie's,( the father of Egyptology) findings from his museum in London, on loan to the Lowe Museum. The exhibit is here until November, and I believe the lecture is every Friday at 7pm.

After we were done, we headed over to JJ's American Diner for another drink and some bar , food. I had heard great things about JJ's and was very excited for my sampler which comprised of Fried Mozz, Wings, and Potato Skins... The fried mozz was terrible, congealed cheese covered in soggy sand... The sauce was even worse. The wings I just left sitting there, plain and underfried with what appeared to be nothing more than plain hot sauce on the side. I would refry them, make a sauce, and enthusiastically serve them to hubby later....On to the potato skins, which were definitely fried before filled, in what tasted like a vat of Krispy Kreme oil... The middle was congealed, soggy, and way too thick on the plain potato side..

Thank G&D for good conversation and crappy wine though. That never fails to make my night... Then on the way home, I ran into major traffic. At 11 pm on a Friday night, it took me all of 15 minutes to get to the Gables and about an hour to get home... Welcome to Miami...

Break An Unwritten Rule Tuesday

2008-07-01T10:04:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago I created a format for my blog... Different posts for different days of the week, all depending on my desire, motivation, and ability to actually do all of the things required to post said posts....
I think last weeks lack of blogs was a rebellion against the overachieving of my new format. I mean, I have never been an overachiever. Why start now??
As fun as acting like a complete ass at the gym was, today I didn't have that kind of energy, and decided to abandon my Hunter S. Thompson style of journalism for a road much more traveled; the fly on the wall.
I did break a small rule however, one that went largely unnoticed which was seriously fine with me. I was too busy noticing ( and being annoyed) by others' flagrant unwritten rule breaking.

Unwritten Rule #2

Thou Shalt Not Wear a Shirt that says "Everyone Loves A Jewish Girl" to a gym in Miami Gardens.

The first unwritten rule breaker that caught my eye was the gentleman hanging out in front of the thigh machines that force users to open and close their thighs very widely, leaving their most precious areas wide open... Now, everyone thinks naughty things regarding these machines, at least, I assume they do, but to actually say something? How gauche! I didn't hear what he said exactly, but after watching him practically do a Riverdance with laughter and his friends laugh as well, while the girls on the machines exclaimed such scholarly phrases as; "Oh No You Di-nnnt."

Wow. Remind me not to go on that machine while that guy is here! Then I noticed a lady who kept pushing her gum in a vertical bar out of her mouth while she ran on the treadmill... It was like a South Beach Hooker; as gross as it was, I simply could not look away or hide my disgust. I hate gum. Like truly hate, the smell of it makes me nauseaus and I don't understand the need to be constantly showing to other people something that is made to be chewed inside your mouth. This lady had a particularily rabbit like face as well, and if I could wrench my gaze away as fast as I let it drift over there, then in the blur she totally looked like Bugs Bunny. These two were seriously cramping my workout; here it was barely 10 minutes into my cardio workout and I was seriously contemplating getting off and heading straight for the steam room. I had to concentrate on my book, the cheesy but heartwarming You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, which thankfully got me through the next 15 minutes before I finally headed off to the steamroom after a couple of sets of crunches.

In the steamroom I encountered another rule breaker; a girl listening to blaring hip hop out of her ipod, louder than I thought an ipod could ever go, enough to literally vibrate the cedar benches of the tiny room.... Here I was, trying so hard to relax and detox my body and all I could hear was bass and a lot of loud, harsh sounding words...Not exactly relaxing and detoxifying sounds... That was my exit.

Lesson Learned

Breaking unwritten rules is fun if you're the one breaking them... For everyone else, you're just another annoying South Floridian

A Belated Weird Song Wednesday

2008-06-26T08:35:00.001-07:00

Is better than no weird song wednesday at all, I say!

This is sung to the tune of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel..

"Blogger Man"

It's nine o clock on a Thursday
The regular crowd all logs in
there's a random tweeter following me
and I don't know what state she lives in...

She says hey can you update my memory
I'm not really sure how it goes....
I'm not in myspace, and I haven't seen your facebook
And not even the googleman knows....

Sing us a song of the twitter feeds
Tere give us a blog tonight!
Cuz we're all in the mood for some puter time
As our fingers hit refresh all night....

Now Manola BBB is a friend of mine...
She gives me linklove for free
and she's quick with a pic or a blog or improv
Matheson Hammock's where she'd rather be..

She says B I believe this is killing me
as the smile ran away from her face
Well I'm sure that I could be a celebrity
If I could log out of this place...

Well Ines is a real estate bloggerist
who never has time for TV
and she's talking with Scary, who has a saleable story
but she's already blogged it for free.

And we use these sites as platforms for politics
and no one can tell if we're stoned
yes I'm sharing these links -in my loneliness
but it's better than linking alone....

Sing me a song of new blog comments
Yes please all come to my site
I think that you'll enjoy my melody
Cuz it's got me feeling all right

I got a lot of hits the day of my first article
and I turned to Gus and Michelle with a smile
because I know it's through MiamiBeach411
That you come visit my life for a while

And more thanks to South Florida Daily Blog
Who gave me more hits than he knows... and
now when I blog I know that it goes near and far
and I can reach Tel Aviv from here....

Sing us a song of the twitter feeds
Go read some blogs tonight!!!

I hope that you enjoyed my melody

It sure got me feeling alright.....

OYE MI POEMA!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-26T08:19:00.000-07:00

This small verse I just stumbled upon in a notebook looking for weird song weds... It is not quite yet a poem, yet it's something... It has potential I think... Here you go:

Stumbling back
on my hands and
knees through coal dust
to get back
to where I was
before; when I had
no reason to be happy
other than the fact
that the weight of
life had not pressed
down on my head
then; nearly as much as
now.

The years pass....

Belated Concoction Monday - Sauce! Meatballs to follow

2008-06-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

This recipe is the culmination and distillation of 7 years of experimentation, watching my Italian college roommate, and later my husbands Sicilian family, reading more recipes than I ever thought could exist for a simple tomato based sauce, and many, many trial and error situations. Here is my best, and I'm hoping for your sake you have a bit of natural cooking talent/ creative spirit b/c I am not big into measuring with this recipe. It's a taste and stir, repeat repeat repeat situation.

Spaghetti Sauce

shopping list

2 large cans San Marzano tomatoes, 1 cubed, 1 crushed
2 tablespoons olive oil
coarse sea salt
fresh ground pepper
one package fresh basil
1 tablespoon butter
pinch sugar
flat leaf italian parsley, one large handful, roughly chopped
4-6 ( depending on size) cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 medium or half a large vidalia onion, finely chopped
red pepper flakes
one cup each for garnish : parmigiano reggiano and pecorino romano ( perorino locatelli even better try Macaluso's market for it)

heat the olive oil in a large, deep skillet or saucepan over medium low for a few minutes
add the onion and gently saute for ten-15 minutes over medium low
push the onion off the the sides, making a hold to put the garlic in at the center. saute garlic until it begins to turn a light blond color, if it gets too brown it will make the entire sauce bitter. If you've done this, it's ok, I've done it a million times. But you have to throw it out and start over. Now.

Next, stir in the two cans of tomatoes, and season to taste with salt and pepper. Add a pinch or sugar and the tablespoon butter. Bring to a boil. reduce to simmer, add parsley. let simmer for an hour to two hours depending on how much time you have, but AT LEAST an hour.

hand tear the basil, stir in. The sauce needs to simmer about another half an hour, so make the pasta during this time. Usually I have some meatballs simmering in the sauce as well, recipe to be posted asap. As always, comments and suggestions are appreciated. Happy Friday!

Since Manola and I are going out to an Egyptian Art thing tonight, there is still hope for bar food friday! YAY

Bar Food Friday ( and a bit of a babble)

2008-06-20T20:12:00.000-07:00

Forget the beach - the real estates are in South Coral Gables

Today I had my volunteer interview at Fairchild Tropical Botanical Gardens. My Indigo Chica Manola from my favorite pee my pants blog, sex and the beach.
inspired me to start giving back to a world that's been extraordinarily good to me, despite my constant faux pas and outright social blunders....
Before my interview ( that Old Cutler Rd detours and a general fucktardiness regarding directions made me 35 minutes late to) I was offered only a 2 day stint at the July Mango Festival and training in the fall for their Art exhibition during high season, which doesn't start until December.

And skip or bear with this digression/ Detour

... I will be working in the Conservation Nursery for the summer, then move on to the Challenge office in the end of August...I will also be judging and helping coordinate the challenge... The challenge is it's own post, so those with ??? pls be patient or visit Fairchild Tropical Botanical Garden's Website
Because I'm about to lose my own attention writing and can only assume it's worse for my readers..

I'm impressed you lasted through my major tangent of a detour. I know how much being detoured sucked today and yet here I am, detouring my readers from the promised blog... The 1st ever bar food friday....

But I have had such a stellar week - getting noticed by South Florida Daily Blog, making like minded smart funny artistic friends I had no idea I would ever meet outside of the fabled education snobbery of New England, getting a quarter of my site hits over three months in the last 5 days.... So I'm pushing my boundaries like a child.... and praying my loyal readers will indulge me and give me a lollipop.

Friday Night's Bar Food

I almost blew barfood friday b/c the moment I got to Fox's, ( Miami's 2nd oldest bar) to meet Manola, I ordered French Onion Soup ( about which I have this OCD need to always declare it's not as good as my own as I hungrily devour every drop) and was two thirds of the way in before I realized Bar Food Friday calls for a pic of the food before I rip into it like a hungry cheetah...
What I would soon learn is that with Manola, I was in the kind of company that can make hours fly by in the taking of a breath or a long sip of Pinot... And happy hour was upon us as soon as you could say Blue Moon over Sex on the Beach.

Along with two for one everything the special happy hour bar food of the day at Fox's was "Mini Castle Burgers" ( that thankfully, aren't microwaved mass market white castle burgers from Publix)
Above is a pic of these little burgers, music to my mouth and horror flick to my size 26 True Religions....

They were quite possibly the best mini burgers or "sliders" ( which always makes me think of a vodka shot with an oyster and hot sauce in it) I've ever had.... Fox's is definitely doing a major disservice to themselves to even refer to anything remotely resembling the words 'white' or 'castle'. It was served as one pull apart chunk in four sections; pickles, tasty perfectly seasoned burger patties and melted american cheese on each. Ketchup, mustard, and mayo was on the side... For four glasses of pinot, 3 chardonnays, french onion soup, and the burgers, our bill only came to 43$ w/ tax and there may even be another round involved I am blocking out...

The food was great, the bar was vampire dark ( which I love when drinking on a Friday afternoon at 4) and the bartender and regulars friendly as you might expect in Georgia, but certainly not Miami... After I devoured said burgers ( Manola was the picture of self control and only had one bite of one) the sky stopped having it's water break on Miami's head and we headed out to our original plan, Matheson Hammock state park.. At which there was no hammocks, and the conversation too priceless to share with the blogosphere....

Verdict: Fox's Happy Hour, mucho drinks, plenty of food, nice dark comfy cozy atmosphere, and patrons = 43$ before tip

Conversation with Manola = priceless

Even though M is way too cool for cheesy credit card commercial parodies, I hope she will let this one slide... if she's not too busy finding hurricane season BF.... My vote is for Jensen Ackles from Supernatural....

Quote of The Day ( Thank You Carlos Miller!!)

2008-06-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

I am going to sing for you, a little off key perhaps, but I will sing.
-Henry Miller

Thank you Carlos Miller

Not only for this quote, but for standing up for artists everywhere. who create their art in every medium.. What an ugly place America would become if not for people like you to stand up for our right to create and record and observe and discuss the world around us.. I'm going to get my husband to airbrush a Team Carlos Miller Shirt, which I plan on wearing out this weekend. Shit... It's been a while since something happened so close to home that moved me like this... I'm ready to protest, picket, sign petitions, whatever it takes....

Cause Nobody puts Carlos Miller in the corner!!!!

Oye Mi Poema Thursday

2008-06-19T06:15:00.000-07:00

Next weds a group of local blogger chicas and I are hitting up Ingrid B's Bohemia Room spoken word event; Cunnilinguistics, A night of erotic poetry... Only problem is, the only finished poem I have that's slightly erotic that I haven't destroyed or lost I read last time I was there. I'm going to have to actually write a new poem. It's been almost a year I think... But going through my old stuff on my dino desktop I found this poem, which I wrote in Miami, a little over a year ago... And decided to share. I was inspired my Billy Collin's poem of the same name. He is such a great poet... I wonder if I can get some erotic poetry inspiration there? No, best keep it safe and look through my Adrienne Rich ;)

The Best Cigarette
by B.L.

There are many that I miss

Having flicked my last one over a balcony

One dark night, a firefly disappearing in the trees.

The obvious ones, of course;

After an evening joint, the double indulgence

As one fades to ash, two light up

And lean back, the end of a long

Exhale;

At the end of a greasy breakfast

The day waiting to begin

Blue-grey haze curling and dancing from the ashtray;

Or in a hot tub, resting an elbow on the edge

Holding the damp filter until it burns out.

It’s a strange dichotomy, these moments

of flame and relief.

The most pure memories are mornings

When the next line keeps appearing

Through the tangle onto my computer screen,

The endless Miami sun.

Newly downloaded music in the background

With it’s own beautiful surprises and familiarities.

I would grab for the pack without looking

Away, lighting up as I read my own

Words as if they were a letter

To myself, written

Long ago..

And it would be the exhale of breath

Left hand raised to hold it

As I lean back in the chair and

Smile at my own truth.

Then I would be my own sunshine

All bright energy as I returned to work

My thoughts like beams of light

Little rays whispering,

The catalyst of soul growth

All the poems that brought me

Here, came from somewhere

Warm.

That was the best cigarette.

Smiling at the monitor.

Every ounce of light within

Shining on these words.

Thank You South Florida Daily Blog!!!

2008-06-18T18:29:00.000-07:00

YAY! I am the new blog alert at the South Florida Daily Blog! And I am on their blogroll! I (again) feel, a la Izzie from Grey's Anatomy, like a proud Mama...

And Rick from SFDB wrote a nice little write up about me, I must add...Read about it here, at my new favorite blog, the South Florida Daily Blog

Quotes of The Day

2008-06-18T12:41:00.000-07:00

There are no random realtors, only friends you haven't met yet

And

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

Although the poet in me really appreciates the alliterative value of 'random realtor' and how it just rolls off the tongue

:)

So You Wanna Move to Miami?

2008-06-18T11:37:00.000-07:00

What we should really do is cast a reality show from all the various people ( very nice, interesting, funny, smart people that I am not trying to offend with this post, only to have a laugh on Miami since it’s rainy and I’m bored) that come to MiamiBeach411.com thinking about moving to Miami…

We could call it “So You Wanna Move To Miami” and all the contributing writers ( as in article writers) on the site would be the judges… We could have guest judges like JLo, Matt Damon and Gloria Estefan....Challenges would include driving through Lemon City at night with the window rolled down without peeing in your pants, selling flowers on the side of the road in Little Havana without the ability to speak a word of Spanish, and getting a group of rowdy white hat 21 year old boys into Suite on a Saturday night without buying a bottle.....and then the men will be subjected to a series of extra tests, such as having to pick out the one genuine girl who likes them in a sea of hot, foreign, greencard hungry women, and real or not? where contestants have to decide if boobs are real just by looking at them Oh and finally… Is she a stripper, a porn star, or just a hot chick?… For the women, there will be Which of these guys actually doesn’t have a wife, and Does He Own the Lamborghini or is it a rental, and finally, pick the one guy who doesn’t cheat, isn’t gay and isn’t a drug dealer/addict in a sea of hot shirtless men....

Although there will be many prizes along the way, such as a permanent table at Suite furnished by the makers of Trojan products, and Grey Goose...To help the winner kick-start their Miami career, the grand prize will be 2 years paid rent in a penthouse in the ICON, a 3 year lease of a turbo porsche ( duh, tiptronic) A couple hundred thousand, since 1 just ain’t gonna do it, the phone numbers of a plastic surgeon who won’t make you look like Tara whatsherface, a drug dealer who delivers, and a realtor who won’t screw you, all of the Spanish series of Rosetta Stone Learning Tools, a whole new wardrobe from Intermix....

Now what channel should this be on? Well Hello I’d think this is obvious....

ONLY ON E

Way more entertaining than Living Lohan, I say!

Break an Unwritten Rule Day

2008-06-18T06:39:00.001-07:00

This blog is beginning to take shape, something which (again) makes me feel like a proud mama. I already have declared Monday, "Concoction Monday" and now I dub Tuesday "Break an Unwritten Rule Tuesday" although the blog is coming to you on a Wednesday morning, I am planning on having it up on time next week, so that I can make Wednesday Weird Song Wednesday, and post one of the many silly songs I have written to other songs.

Back on the Elliptical Again

Yesterday, when gearing up to go to the gym in Miami Gardens for the first time, being that I was going to the LA Fitness in Hollywood when I worked at the Powerboat Club and have not been to any gym since I quit that awful silicone enhanced place in Mid February, I was a little nervous.

And what better way to deal with being nervous than make a complete and total ASS out of myself. So I decided to break an unwritten rule, flagrantly and unabashedly.

Unwritten Rule #1

Thou Shalt Not Act as if You are in an IPod Commercial on a Machine at the Gym!

They playlist needed to be just right to keep me going without blushing or laughing too much... So I started with The Donna's Version of Billy Idol's "Dancing With Myself". It was a perfect start. I started shaking my ass and moving my arms as I pumped the machine, something that was a little tricky, but still easier than dancing after one too many Blue Moon's.... At first it seemed no one was noticing, so I started to really get into it.... Then a young girl looked at me like I was crazy. Very encouraging. I started to do more arm movements and move my hips and legs more vigorously to the music....Lots of shoulder beat keeping was going down...

Dancing With Myself

I started to feel really good, free, reminding me of that episode of Friends where Phoebe is running like a freak in the park and tries to convince Monica to do it with her because "it's so liberating". Yes my friends, it is... The playlist is ESSENTIAL, because it gives you ideas for more idiotic moves than less appropriate music would inspire. Next up, "Do You Love Me" from Dirty Dancing....

Do You Love Me? I Can Really Move.... Do You Love Me? I'm in the Groove... Now That I Can Dance...Watch Me Now!

I can mash potato ( and freak out the guy cleaning the machine)
I can do the twist ( and almost hit the girl on my right and almost fall off...)
Now tell me baby, do you like it like this? ( the guy over there sure does...)

This song really captured the crowd... Some were giving me that unwritten rule breaking look I was doing this for, you know the one where people think they can stop your inappropriate behavior with a withering glance.... I know because I've been one of them!

Don't Cha Wish You Had the Chutzpah to Dance on your Machine??? And, Please don't stop the Dancing....

Back to 2 hip hop tracks, which in Miami Gardens, drew me a lot of mixed reviews... The looks were split between "White girl thinks she can shake her ass, at the gym, of all places.." to "Yo,Look at that white girl shaking it! Are those real?" Umm, Hello People! Implants were inspired by women who, like myself actually *gasp* had nice racks of the all natural persuasion..... All the while, the time and the miles and the calories were flying by.... And I was feeling good... Really freaking good.....

BohoPoetGirls Just Want to Have Fun....

This was all leading up to the big climax in act 3... I had already proven to myself that while some of the looks made me uncomfortable, I was having way too much fun not to keep pushing this social experiment to the next level. A bit of backstory is relevant here. I went to Camp Mataponi in Maine every summer growing up. Those girls were my closest friends in the universe. It's where I got my love of 80's pop. But I digress. Two of my cheerleading best friends and I wrote an entire act-it-out dance skit to this song.. And I decided to act it that dance, as much as memory, the elliptical and it's constant threats to throw my bouncing self off, and my sensibilities ( Seriously, I'm not Britney - I do have some shame)

This needs to go with the lyrics to make sense

I come home in the morning light my mother says when ( shoulder shrugging with elbows bent and hands raising in air to beat) you gonna live your life right....Oh mommy dear (wagging finger) we're not the fortunate ones.... Oh girls just want to have fun....

The phone rings, in the middle of the night, (bend knees and hold hand/phone to ear, while bouncing from right to left....) My father says what you gonna do with your life.. Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one ( shake hips and hold out one finger with other hand on hips and cocked head)

But girls they want to have fun ( during the chorus we actully do si do'd, which I couldn't accomplish on the elliptical without breaking my neck)
chorus here a little head shaking lip syncing and side to side movement worked here

Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide ( hug self and bend knees, lean forward and down, hide, in short) her away from the rest of the world

I want to be the one to walk in the sun ( stand up straight, bounce and put elbows out, hands flat under chin with the fingertips overlapping.......)

Chorus....

This was it, I had reached my ultimate threshhold of embarassment. And to my surprise, when I looked down at the machine, I had been on for almost 3o minutes already.

This is the dance that funk built....

Although I was done with my workout... I had to end with this, my walk out song...

I see you baby... Shaking that ass......

Tune in next week, when I plan to embarass myself in a totally different way... At a restaurant perhaps? the mall? A spa? Comments or emails to bohopoetgirl@gmail.com would be much appreciated. Until then, thanks for reading!

It's official! Every being in my house has a shoe fetish

2008-06-16T14:28:00.001-07:00

I couldn't find Nico earlier, and when I called and he didn't come running I got nervous. This is how I found the poor thing, and I still feel guilty because I left him (after making sure he was fine just not sure how to proceed) and ran to get my camera to take this picture

Concoction of the Day; Maple Chicken and Avocado Wrap

2008-06-16T13:03:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, I would spend hours in the kitchen creating recipes my mother and sister would laughingly refer to as "concoctions". In honor of that I'm making monday concoction of the day day, and will share a recipe each monday that is my very own. At special request, next Monday I plan to post the first thing I ever set out to master; sauce and meatballs. It took me years to get it right, and I've finally come to a place i don't think I can improve upon it any more. My sicilian husband prefers it to his mothers (thank god she doesnt have a computer!) This recipe I just created and ate, inspired by this gorgeous avocado I saw in a neighbor's tree while walking Reigna. Usually when you order something with avocado in it at a restaurant you get about 2-3 phyllo dough thin slices per sandwich/ salad. I wanted to make a lunch that highlighted the avocado in all it's glory, which is why I chose a wrap so the bread wouldn't distract.

Maple Chicken and Avocado wrap

Grocery list
Boars head maple chicken (my new favorite lunch meat) about three slices per wrap
Avocado, 1 per every two wraps.
lemon juice
fine sea salt
five peppercorn pepper blend(pink green red black white) ( I get this at fresh market) but black pepper will do fine
light mayo
boars head picante provolone ( two thin slices per wrap)
whole grain wraps

Head the oven to 375. Place wraps inside foil and warm for about five minutes
Meanwhile, roughly chop the avocado ( I tried to slice it using this green thing, which is supposed to be an avocado slicer but probably couldn't even slice room temperature butter.
Season the avocado with the juice of half a lemon or a few good squirts of those lemon shaped juice thingies. Ground pepper and sprinkle salt to taste. Juilienne the cheese and maple chicken, or just hack at it with a good knife a few times like I did. Then remove the wraps, spread a thin layer of mayo on each one, and put the chicken, then the cheese, and then heaps of the avocado on top. Roll over and seal, which I could barely do since I stuffed nearly an entire avocado into mine. But the mayo acts as a decent glue to hold the thing together. Enjoy! I know I did. I'd love to hear about your experience with this dish, or any of the other recipes I've posted.

Here's the finished product. As you can see I took a bite - I absolutely could not resist!

Blogger Do At Tobacco Rd

2008-06-15T04:48:00.001-07:00

Hey People!
Sunday Morning ditty A La Seinfeld, enjoy;

*Clears throat*
*sings*

Believe it or not, last night I wasn't at home! While R laid out fast asleep... I must have been out, or I'd have been on the phone... Where could I have been? Believe it or not, I wasn't home....

At a Blogger party, do you talk about what you Blog about or Blog about what you talk about??

Last night was the blogger party at Tobacco Rd, which is Miami's Oldest Bar. I planned on getting there almost two hours late after I sat on my bum on Lincoln Rd for over an hour w. aiting for them all to show up for brunch..And I was still there before more than half the crowd!, including Balou, Fanless, Ipanemic, Consumable Joy, and others had even showed up.

Multi -Colored Moon Over Miami

When I did get there, Tere from a Mom, a blog, and the life in between, and Chris from Man or Maniac were there with my girl Miami Rhapsody.. Blue Moon drinking commenced immediately! I have been waiting to get some good pics to post with this little ditty here, but all the ones any of them got were blurry... except my buddy ipanemic got this fabulous picture of my very own blue moon over miami before my drunk on blue moon ass fell off the rickity plastic chair i was sitting on.

Then Gus and Michelle from MiamiBeach411.com showed up and the party really began. I introduced them all to blue moon, and even Michelle, who is not a beer drinker liked it. I felt like a proud Mama! There was lots and lots of photo taking, which bloggers tend to do, but since we were having such a time, most people's came out blurry. I love hanging out with my Miami bloggers. Excuse the cliche, but there is absolutely never a dull moment. The two biggest only in Miami moments of the night happened at nealry the same time and in almost the same place, and yet one of them no one knew about until after.

The Scuffle AKA Only in Miami

Firstly my buddy A* and one of the wait staff got into what I will politely call a scuffle. I have to thank A for standing up for us, as the wait staff were trying to take our food away before we were done and seemed quite peeved that this rowdy group of bloggers who were only drinking beer and not doing shots. Or maybe we were just too old for them, since we can all legally drink.. I thought about getting involved, I wanted to say something, but tk god Ipanemic helped me fight the urge. Alex took care of it for us anyway. I mean, there are only so many times a waiter can try to take your food or drink while you are in the midst of eating or drinking it without some sort of conflict ensuing... This happened Miami Bloggers, MiamiBeach411.com, Tobacco Road while I was sitting at this booth, who knows, possibly at the same time since I don't remember Balou taking it. She went to take a pic of Scott and ended up getting this couple in the background. Look how the guys hand is on a steadily southward migration!
* names have been changed to protect the innocent since I just learned about Google Alerts

Waiting for Godot

Okay, what I was really waiting for was to sober up to drive home, but catchy subhead, eh? This weekend should be another fun talk about blog about blog about talk about weekend since Yvette/Miami Rhapsody is having a birthday party at her house! Which leads me to my cheesy closing joke I thought of yesterday driving

Q: What's the most important thing on the invitation to any Blogger Do if you want a good turnout?

A: Free Wi -Fi!

My favorite things to do during a hurricane

2008-06-13T07:07:00.000-07:00

.Declare I am not leaving the house, loudly, to no one in particular, unless I am evacuated to the Ritz Carlton...
. 3 little magical letters; DVR
. GRILL!
. Make sauce and meatballs on the side burner of the grill if power is out( super special secret sauce recipe to come)
. play with my puppies
Watch the waves crash and the whole scene, smoking, from a high floor ocean view suite on South Beach, the crazy surfers, the beach patrol after them, the letters coming off of the oceanfront boutique hotels...
Drive around the next day taking photos of the damage... Hmmm, I know SamStyl has some from after Wilma.. Will have to hit her up for those..

Happy When it Rains

2008-06-13T06:49:00.001-07:00

Ahh Hurricane season. It's the closest thing we get to Winter, at least in terms of excuses not to leave the house, getting out of work, and just being lazy in general. After this blog happy week I actually have a bruise the size of my elbow worked into my inner right thigh from sitting cross legged on the couch, with the laptop on the ottoman ( AKA Sneaky's apartment) blogging. Oh I think I feel a list coming on... After the quote of the day of course. I have an AMAZING one today, the ending of Jack Kerouac's on the road... Possibly one of the best paragraphs ever written in America...

Congratulations Stephanie Izard!!!!!!

2008-06-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't already know, Stephanie Izard became the first ever female top chef last night on Bravo in the show's 4th season. Never before has the person who I wanted to win actually won!! I thought Richard Blais would have gotten it just because he's got a wee-wee. I got so excited when the judges were talking to them before they announced the winner, b/c they were like, Richard, you're whimsical, we've got that figured out, Lisa, it's all about Lisa ( what a cunt BTW) we've got that figured out, Stephanie, you constantly amaze us with stuff out of left field, we can't figure you out.... That's when I was 99% sure that she was going to win! I was so happy for her. Seriously, Stephanie, wherever you are, congratulations! You totally deserve it!! Your food looked amazing all throughout the season and I can't wait to eat at your restaurant one day... Last time I checked, the design district in Miami had plenty of space for lease..... And someone like you could really give Michael's Genuine Food and Drink a run for it's money....
YAY

5 More Reasons Why Having A Pool is Better than Going to South Beach

2008-06-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

11. You have more privacy if trying to drown your MIL ( thanks Suzy!)
12. Jumping off the roof
13. Falling, a la Gus, fully clothed, butt first into the pool
14. Private puppy swimming lessons
15.This picture, and all the pictures not taken

Top Ten Reasons Why Having Your Own Pool Is Better Than Going To South Beach!

2008-06-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

10. It's the Miami equivelent of being the house on the block with the huge hill aftter a snowstorm
9. The Chairs are free
8. The drinks are cheap
7. Dogs and inebriation are encouraged
6. There are no anorexic models on the next chair to make you feel bad about yourself
5. There are no jellyfish, stinging salt water, hidden sharp things, crabs, or sharks to make you feel bad about Everything
4. You can have sex and not get sand in your chotchke
3. You can have sex and the only person who might catch you is the lawn guy, and he's certainly not arresting anyone
2. You already have a parking space, and the walk isn't bad.
1. Two Words : Skinny Dipping!!

How to Meet People on South Beach

2008-06-10T16:57:00.001-07:00

The Forge, The Raliegh, Equinox, Starbucks,Epicure ( I met Ferrell there ;) ) Nikki Beach Brunch Sundays.....MiamiBeach411.com....
Driving your car if you have a nice one... Shaking your ass if you have a nice one... Running on the beach if you have nice, ummm...

You get the picture! If you have a nice one, you will be sure to impress in this material town.

At right is a pic of Richy's car. People try to meet him all the time. He likes to show his wedding ring it makes us both laugh. :)

Today's Burning Question

2008-06-10T05:41:00.001-07:00

This morning found Sneaky and me burning with the eternal question; continue to watch the Today Show/ browse blogs in the living room ( AKA home of the big TV)or go back to bed? Then I had the most amazing flash of inspiration. You really can have it all! Currently Sneaks and I are in bed, with the TV on, writing blogs ( plans to resume browsing asap), drinking coffee.

This is the way to spend a morning! Here are the views from the bed:

Not so bad, eh?

This is Today on Becca's Blog. Lol.

Where Have All the Comments Gone?

I'd like to think this has more with me changing my blog address than failing to provide anything of value to those in the blogosphere, but who knows. Bluemoon81.blogspot.com now features futons. How odd. Seriously thinking about deleting myspace, but then I would miss drinking red wine and laughing with Dina over what people from WHS are doing now ( besides living at home).

In the spirit of high school memories flooding my brain, here's a math problem for you.

Considering that I met my husband after college and have been with him longer than I was in high school, and spent the normal amount of time at both places, how pathetic are the people in the WHS class of 99' and older for still living at home?

Answers? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Aunt Flo's Favorite Recipes

2008-06-04T20:17:00.000-07:00

Chocolate Peanut Butter Shake

6 scoops good chocolate ice cream
5 ice cubes
1/3 cup or so reeses PB
milk to cover ice cream

Blend on high 2 mins
stir
blend till smooth

pairs well with Advil, DVR, heating pad, laptop, and couch

Chocolate Almond Milkshake
Same recipe as above
skip PB
add hershey kisses w/ almonds

Friday's frozen queso ( in freezer section)
put in micro
chop chives and olives
pull out
dollop w sour cream
grab bag of chips
garnish

watch a girlie movie covered in couch and blankets

surf TWOP and MiamiBeach411.com

Playtex Sport ( for active lifestyle) tampons rock. I'll let you figure out why.

Daily Dose of Cute in Honor of the Amazing Blogger Farmgirl Susan,

2008-06-04T19:33:00.000-07:00

www.farmgirlfare.com, or www.foodiefarmgirl.blogspot.com
BTW
My FAVORITE BLOG EVER!!!

Caption This Photo!

2008-06-04T02:23:00.000-07:00

I havent gotten a comment in over a month, and im not sure if it has to do w/ changing emails, addresses, etc or I just suck. So I'm offering a contest that to me is worth way more a $ prize. Caption winner will get a handwritten astrological profile - from sun sign to ascendant sign, the whole thumbprint.
Or $20 gift cert... Up to you!

A Miami Jew's Blue Heaven

2008-06-03T06:20:00.000-07:00

Samstyl brought me back a bagel from her weekend in NYC. (Yes she's quite the jetsetter, and yes, I'm jealous) . I am enjoying it right now with Einstein's cream cheese. Damn I forgot how good a NYC bagel is - ( an how messy, the Vaio is not appreciating getting a cream cheesy keyboard.
Oh well.
YUM!!

Good Morning Reprieve!

2008-06-03T05:02:00.000-07:00

As much as I love my MIL, I love even more having an extra day to prepare for having a visitor. Now my cleaning of yesterday seems more industrious than last minute and I have until dum dah! 3 pm tomorrow to have the house and animals in order. As I speak Sneaky and Lucky - Lu - Lu are fighting behind my back, literally, since i'm spooning my laptop on the couch watching dateline at the moment.
XOXO
B

Quote of the Day

2008-05-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

What is to give light must endure burning

Viktor Frankl

Sneaky's Post as told to me

2008-05-23T20:18:00.000-07:00

Hazy Kansas Memories
My first memory is the day I was taken from my birth mommy. Loaded into some big loud monster in a smallbox with stranger pups who were just as scared as I was. Where was I going? without my mommy or siblings I was terrified.
The lady that seemed to be controlling the monster turned around and said "we're not in Kansas anymore ToTo." What is a cansas, and what is a toto?
Living on Duval Street....( DOn't any of you dare come down on me for puppy store buying - in me and Sneaky's Mind, this was a rescue !)
I arrived to a hot noisy place full of people that stumbled around, talked very loudly, and always had some human version of water in a cup that they would slosh and spill when they got excited. This is when I learned that sleeping a lot would make most of them leave me alone. Some human idiots think that the more excited a pup is, the better it will be. Takes one to know one I guess, which was nice b/c the dummies always left quick.. . I spent most of my days in a clear stinky window box facing the busy street full of loud men who sometimes fell down and laughed. imagine being in a window the size of a fish tank with a whole bunch of strange pups that were always fighting over food and love. Maybe this was the Zoo? There was never enough to go around. All day long humans oohhed and ahhed and banged on the glass rudely and held me tight. Although I was anxious to get out of the pink and glass,the hell I knew was better than any of them.... they put me back into the window and left me there like a toy they wanted to play with but didn't want to buy. The others fought for attention, all desperate to get to that place the humans call your "forever home". I became depressed as the weeks went on. Months went by, and I heard the people saying that the older I got, the smaller my chance of getting out of this window. The days kept passing, and I watched as my friends were adopted one by one.
The Waiting is the Hardest Part
Where was my forever mommy? I wasnt a lazy nippy dog who didn't like people - I was a romantic, doing my damndest to not settle for anything less than my soulmommy. By the time I reached three months, I was starting to give up hope. Then one day I woke up happy for no reason. I was afraid to get my hopes up too much, but then My forever mommy walked in.I knew it was her before she even walked in. Her smell told me all I needed. It was the first time I ran to be let out in weeks. We were in love at first sight. My mommy picked me up and I felt safe and loved and secure.. I was home. She did not want to put me down.. I didn't want to be put down, but I really had to go, so I peed on her arm. There's a test! and she didn't get mad anyway! Now everyone will know she's taken.. The other pups say you just know, which is hard to wrap my puppy brain around until it happened, she petted me gently and whispered "I have been waiting so long for you" in my ear and I clung to her, hoping this was it. She took me in the back where she watched me for a bit. I was so nervous! she started talking into some weird looking thing that is the human version of a leash and started crying. I was sure this was it. But if the alpha male said no, I was doomed. How could I convince her that I was hers? When she put me back in the window, I stood and cried, running across the window until she disappeared down the loud road. I was frantic. Then she came back. I ran to greet her, desperate to prove my love..

How much is that Doggie in the Window

This time when she held me I saw her go over to the tall thing where people run plastic cards through machines and then take home pups! She couldn't bear to lose me, I heard her say to my foster mom. My husband still hasn't said yes but I will give you money towards him to keep him for me. From the smiling faces I started to feel hopeful again. In fact I got so excited I peed on her arm. Oops!
Before she put me back with the others, she whispered in my ear, "you're my baby, and I promise to take you home."
The next day she visited again, this time though she went to the tall thing and filled out all sorts of paperwork. I was so excited because she was too, and together we picked out all sorts of nice things that were just for me! Except this stupid thingy called a harness. No thanks!
I sat in her lap the whole ride to my forever home. I fell asleep in my mommys arms. I was finally home.
Then I met the rest of my family. I have a big sister who protects me from vets and my brother who was jealous and tried to give me a hard time. showed him whose boss! I am small but I have what the people who live in this sunny place "cojones". And then my mommy will say "for now" and everyone laughs... maybe she thinks I will stop stealing toys and treats from my big bro- fat chance!
I hate to brag, but my life is pretty awesome! My mommy works from home and my brother and sister are always there to play with and teach me useful stuff like how to beg! Mommy tells me she loves me and plays with me all the time. She even lets me steal the other dogs toys, and lets me sleep in bed, and cooks for me!. i think I just might be the luckiest pup in the world... Now if I could only get on and off the couch myself...usually it just takes one cry and she runs to me. Peeing on the couch when she ignored me was one of the smartest moves ever!! From pink soiled paper bedding and the constant stress to the lap of love and luxury? I only wish every pet had a mommy, daddy and brother and sister like mine. It was worth the wait! I must end now, because I see a sock on the floor calling my name. Then I might bite Lucky on the leg... Heehee because I'm a baby he always gets in trouble. Thats why they call me sneaky. Daddy says I complete their family. I hope they mean that because I don't want to give up my baby status.

To Boston or Not to Boston?

2008-05-16T11:27:00.001-07:00

Hello Everyone!

Interlude
So here I am in CT, waiting for Jess to come home from work so we can go buy gifts for my sister's shower this Sunday. Also, we are going to Friendly's (YAY) If I win the lotto, the first thing that I am going to do after tearing up the shops at Bal Harbor and planning a trip around the world is buy a Friendly's and stick it right in Miami. Biscayne just south of Aventura, or possibly midtown would be good. Possibly could happen even without the lotto. Despite the fact that SamStyl is Prague- ing it out right now ( SOOO jealous) she will think it's a great idea when she comes back to the states ( with a gift for me I hope). We have been trying to come up with a business to own together for the longest. I think this beats catering midbeach kiddie parties, eh?

To Boston, To Boston?

So, flying out tues at 750 pm. Supposed to go back to my friend Anna's house monday night and hang out with her tuesday. I am going to my mothers after the shower and spending the night with her, but last night she called and said - hey - why don't we go to Boston? Hmmm... Why not right? The thing is, everytime it's the same. Too many people, not enough time, and the harder you try to be "fair" with how you spread myself around, someone is always mad or feels slighted. It's a blast, trying to walk this line between doing what you actually want to do and making everybody happy. I didn't even rent a car this time - this separates the people who say they want to see you from the ones who are actually willing to drive out to pick you up an hour away. I'm supposed to spend that Monday night with Anna, but DUH! I want to go to Boston and stay in a posh hotel and shop and spend time with my mother and eat fabulous food.

Decision 2008? Or BostonGate?

I still am undecided. I have already spent two nights in Worcestor with Anna. I physically cannot be in two places at once. And my mom, who the hell else is she going to go have fun in Boston with if not me? Any comments or opinions would be greatly appreciated. Right now, I'm leaning toward Boston... Look how pretty it is at night!

XOXOXOXO

Becca

Quote of the Day

2008-05-05T12:13:00.001-07:00

“I write one page of masterpiece to ninety one pages of shit,” Hemingway confided to F. Scott Fitzgerald in 1934. “I try to put the shit in the wastebasket.”

Proud to Announce the Arrival of Nico "Suave"

2008-04-25T16:06:00.000-07:00

Doxieshire ( Daschshund/ Yorkie Mix, born 1/24/08, my 2.3 pound new baby comes from a family breeder in Kansas. He's the cutest goddamn thing I've ever seen, besides my other two babies. You know how they say what happens in Key West stays in Key West?

Well, I guess not always! Will be updating with many, many pictures once I get home tomorrow afternoon.

Tonight Nico spends his last night with his buddies at the lady who own's Dogs on Duval ( A Puppy Mill Free Dog Store & Boutique on the corner of Duval and Petronia Sts.)

Tomorrow, I pick him up and get to cuddle him the whole ride home to Miami while my mom drives.

And then I get to cuddle him the rest of his life. :) Oh man I'm crying (again). Lucky is going to have a serious mental breakdown over this. Must remember to stay highly vigilant over the location of all shoes, sunglasses, etc for a while... And no, I'm not worrying about Nico.

Blue Heaven, well, you'll have to read about that at Miami Beach411.com :)

WELCOME BACK DEAR FRIENDS A song to honor the return of my shows

2008-04-21T17:03:00.000-07:00

Sung to the tune of "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love" from A Chorus Line

Hello, Betty, Hello Office, Hello Greys
Brand new shows, swear it's so, I'm in a daze
Hit the couch and break out, the red wine, it's just fine ( it's just fine)
Time to go, escape the grind, forget my mind ( which feels fine)
It's been, so long I've gone crazy, too long to ignore
For six months I've been waiting, so what's in store?
There's a lot, lot of shows that I love
Hello, Hills, Hello Winchesters, Hello Love,
Goodbye, Gym, Goodbye, Reading Hello couch
Touch the Dvr, mess my shows, and I'll pounce
Time to go, time to go far far far
Goodbye, sunlight, goodbye nights out, hello shows!
On my couch, with a blanket, all I know
Hell shows, hello TV, hello love