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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

So You Wanna Move to Miami?

What we should really do is cast a reality show from all the various people ( very nice, interesting, funny, smart people that I am not trying to offend with this post, only to have a laugh on Miami since it’s rainy and I’m bored) that come to MiamiBeach411.com thinking about moving to Miami…

We could call it “So You Wanna Move To Miami” and all the contributing writers ( as in article writers) on the site would be the judges… We could have guest judges like JLo, Matt Damon and Gloria Estefan....Challenges would include driving through Lemon City at night with the window rolled down without peeing in your pants, selling flowers on the side of the road in Little Havana without the ability to speak a word of Spanish, and getting a group of rowdy white hat 21 year old boys into Suite on a Saturday night without buying a bottle.....and then the men will be subjected to a series of extra tests, such as having to pick out the one genuine girl who likes them in a sea of hot, foreign, greencard hungry women, and real or not? where contestants have to decide if boobs are real just by looking at them Oh and finally… Is she a stripper, a porn star, or just a hot chick?… For the women, there will be Which of these guys actually doesn’t have a wife, and Does He Own the Lamborghini or is it a rental, and finally, pick the one guy who doesn’t cheat, isn’t gay and isn’t a drug dealer/addict in a sea of hot shirtless men....

Although there will be many prizes along the way, such as a permanent table at Suite furnished by the makers of Trojan products, and Grey Goose...To help the winner kick-start their Miami career, the grand prize will be 2 years paid rent in a penthouse in the ICON, a 3 year lease of a turbo porsche ( duh, tiptronic) A couple hundred thousand, since 1 just ain’t gonna do it, the phone numbers of a plastic surgeon who won’t make you look like Tara whatsherface, a drug dealer who delivers, and a realtor who won’t screw you, all of the Spanish series of Rosetta Stone Learning Tools, a whole new wardrobe from Intermix....

Now what channel should this be on? Well Hello I’d think this is obvious....

ONLY ON E

Way more entertaining than Living Lohan, I say!

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